About the girlfriend thing.

[bubosquared]

Yes, I always said I didn't need a lover. I stil don't. I just. I want. Someone to love. Or multiple someones to love. Love as more than just friends, you know.

I loathe myself for this. It'd be okay if I was just crushing on a specific someone, but wanting anyone, any random person, to bestow my caring on? It's just ... so much not what I stand for. Gah.

I suck.

Comments

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's just hard for me to figure out all this emotional shit, you know? I never know if I'm supposed to be feeling what I feel.

[safti]

I've never thought of it that way, really - I've always been under the impression that if you feel some way, there's a reason. Even if it's irrational, I usually go "Okay. Feeling bad. What can I do to feel good?" [After I'm done moping, of course. :-) ]

But that doesn't always work for everyone.

But the point is, I think we all "feel what [we're] supposed to feel" - it's just that feeling bad never feels right, because, well, it feels bad.

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Thing is, I've not really had any real feelings between ages 14 and 19, so I never have any idea wether it's okay for me to be feeling, say, jealousy, or wether what I'm feeling is intense friendship or more. Emotionally, I'm still in my puberty. :/