About the girlfriend thing.

[bubosquared]

Yes, I always said I didn't need a lover. I stil don't. I just. I want. Someone to love. Or multiple someones to love. Love as more than just friends, you know.

I loathe myself for this. It'd be okay if I was just crushing on a specific someone, but wanting anyone, any random person, to bestow my caring on? It's just ... so much not what I stand for. Gah.

I suck.

Comments

[safti]

I shall reiterate something that's been said a few times now: you do not suck.
We all need someone to express emotions to and through. We all need at least one person who knows that we care, because we do care, and the need to love is just as strong as the need to love.

We all need someone to cuddle, to adore romantically.

[Sex is something else, though it can be nice when the two coincide [or more painful, depending on whether or not it's directed at a particular person or is just a general feeling, and in the first case whether or not it's resolved [like, actually happening as opposed to a painful unresolved crush/love]].]

[safti]

Uhm, that should be "the need to love is just as strong as the need to be loved". Gah.

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's just hard for me to figure out all this emotional shit, you know? I never know if I'm supposed to be feeling what I feel.

[safti]

I've never thought of it that way, really - I've always been under the impression that if you feel some way, there's a reason. Even if it's irrational, I usually go "Okay. Feeling bad. What can I do to feel good?" [After I'm done moping, of course. :-) ]

But that doesn't always work for everyone.

But the point is, I think we all "feel what [we're] supposed to feel" - it's just that feeling bad never feels right, because, well, it feels bad.

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Thing is, I've not really had any real feelings between ages 14 and 19, so I never have any idea wether it's okay for me to be feeling, say, jealousy, or wether what I'm feeling is intense friendship or more. Emotionally, I'm still in my puberty. :/