I have now. :-) I'd planned on reading them, then didn't get around to it. Though I read them just after you commented back. When I said Lather, … was my favourite amongst your writings, I meant among those I'd read. Sorry 'bout the confusion. I'd read all the HP drabbles which were under the same link. Though, having read you Lee/Marcus war drabbles, Lather, … is still my favourite. It's Percy. I do like Lee, and your Marcus, but your Percy just twisted something in me in a way Lee and Marcus can't quite manage. Which doesn't mean that I don't love them anyway, it just means that I really, really love your Percy.
About your Lee/Marcus war!drabbles.
I like requiem very much, and how it shows what it's like for Marcus. How he's not allowed to mourn for those he cares for, because everybody just considers him a Slytherin anyway. There's something very empty, very routinely and uncaring about that drabble -- especially when he starts contemplating his own funeral -- and it works. I also like how only one of the twins' body shows, like some irony of fate.
In perspective, I like how you let Lee turn something which seems like one of Marcus's faults turn into something positive. Or no, that's not quite right -- how you show that despite the fact that Lee doesn't like the fact that Marcus cheats, how underneath it all, he really thinks Marcus is a good player. It takes Lee from someone who thoughtlessly bashes the Slytherins to someone with a keen sense of observation, and someone who's at least willing to admit to himself what the talents of his opponents are, and at the same time shows Marcus really is skilled -- all in one sentence.
And I like how you show that they are so far into the war that it all doesn't matter anymore, that they see everything through the eyes of the war -- how what happened at Quidditch doesn't really matter anymore, just what happens during the war.
In personal, I like the last sentence, though I like it in relationship to the rest. There's something very slow and detached about the drabble, as though even Marcus is sort of experiencing it from a distance, almost reacting on instinct -- or on routine. Then, that last sentence hits hard.
I like pretty boy 'cause it's hot. :-) It is. And I love the last sentence, because despite the comparisons between Lee and the kids he sees before him, I so totally did not see that coming, and it hit me right where I live.
I like how Jordan's dreads -- and his scars -- seem to be some sort of metaphor for all that's been lost between Lee and Marcus. How their absence seems to say: it's not there anymore. It comes through strongest in sometimes, of course, but you use this throughout and I really like that.
In time, Neville's remark made me snicker. And though the remark is not only humorous, it does break the seriousness of the story somewhat, and actually accentuates what comes after. Marcus waking up with Lee lying on top of him is just sweet, and hopeful.
Sometimes, Lee leans against him as they're leaning over the desk. Marcus supposes it's a start. Awww.
He's not allowed to go out in the field anymore, and it's hard to really focus on maps, so instead, he focusses on Marcus.
I like that, though I can't really explain why. It's that "meant to be" feeling again, I suppose.
And I love the ending (war). How Marcus wants to make up for his mistakes -- and in a way it's all he's got on the side of light, all that makes him respectable: the fact that he is a good strategist. And now he lost. And all those people he's not allowed to mourn.
I like how Lee doesn't allow Marcus to be gentle. I'm glad you did it like this, because I would have felt cheated otherwise -- they're not some sort of sappy romance, they just… are. I like Marcus's "well, he's got a point" for that reason, 'cause it may be clumsy and wrong, but it's just that which makes the situation perfect. Or perfectly imperfect. :-) And I like the contract of how it's at the same time different and the same, how it seems out of time -- it seems to say that they have changed, and yet, deep down, they're still the same people.
I don't know if you can change mistakes easily, or if you even care, but if you do, I picked up the following: In perspective He looks the exactly the same as the last time Lee saw him: back straight, neck and shoulders tense, every inch the Quidditch Captain.
He does what he's good at, watching and reporting, calling things as he sees them no matter whether people liked what he said. (I only think that should be a present tense…)
He called Flint on his faults, and earning himself the eternal hatred of most of Slytherin House
In time: then shakes his head at Marcus and mutters something about how corruption and filthy habits. (There seems to be a bit missing.)
Sorry, can't seem to keep myself from picking up stuff like that. Maybe because I make that kind of mistakes all the time myself. :-)
In time, Neville's remark made me snicker. And though the remark is not only humorous, it does break the seriousness of the story somewhat, and actually accentuates what comes after.
Oh, cool, I hadn't thought of that, but I did think that Neville needed to put in an appearance to sort of break up this impression that everything in this story 'verse is doom and gloom. Also, I like Neville, and I think he'd be a very good doctor, and quite competent even in the face of all the horridly wounded that would stream in during a war, I think.
Marcus waking up with Lee lying on top of him is just sweet, and hopeful.
Isn't it? For reasons I still cannot figure out, I do love this pairing, despite its absolute groundlessness.
How Marcus wants to make up for his mistakes -- and in a way it's all he's got on the side of light, all that makes him respectable: the fact that he is a good strategist. And now he lost. And all those people he's not allowed to mourn.
Exactly! I really do feel bad for Marcus for what I put him through in this drabble series, because yes, Lee's the one who got raped and mutilated (don't know if I mention it in the drabbles, but Bole cost him a finger as well, and a lot of scars), but Marcus is the one who takes his job personal, no matter what he tells himself, because every time one of his people dies, he knows he'll be held responsible, and he's holding himself responsible, too.
I like how Lee doesn't allow Marcus to be gentle. I'm glad you did it like this, because I would have felt cheated otherwise -- they're not some sort of sappy romance, they just… are.
Which is exactly what I love about them. They're a completely impossible pair, and in this 'verse especially they're both too hopelessly damaged to ever have a healthy relationship after the war, I think, but right now, they're right for each other.
I like Marcus's "well, he's got a point" for that reason, 'cause it may be clumsy and wrong, but it's just that which makes the situation perfect.
I agonised over that for so long, because I wanted to make it clear that Marcus wasn't saying that Lee deserved to be raped because of what happened between them at Hogwarts, but that he's not seeing the difference between what Bole did to Lee and what he did to Lee, that he feels guilty, because at this point, he's already so used to feeling responsible for every bad thing that happens that it's hard to stop.
And thanks for the pointers on typos and spelling mistakes, will fix those on the next update!
Hey, no problem, just checking. :) I tend to put a lot of my ideas on the War especially into various drabbles and stories, so I tend to reference those rather than try to explain in non-fic. <g>
I like requiem very much, and how it shows what it's like for Marcus. How he's not allowed to mourn for those he cares for, because everybody just considers him a Slytherin anyway. There's something very empty, very routinely and uncaring about that drabble -- especially when he starts contemplating his own funeral -- and it works. I also like how only one of the twins' body shows, like some irony of fate.
Hee! Glad you liked that. :) And yeah, this was one of the things I've written where the idea of the House Prejudices being some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy during the Second War really comes out.
Or no, that's not quite right -- how you show that despite the fact that Lee doesn't like the fact that Marcus cheats, how underneath it all, he really thinks Marcus is a good player.
Which I think is actually the main reason he's quite as nasty as he is about calling Marcus on his faults during the games, because he thinks Marcus is a great player, pro material, but this cheating shit won't fly in the pro league, and to Lee, it just makes no sense.
It takes Lee from someone who thoughtlessly bashes the Slytherins to someone with a keen sense of observation, and someone who's at least willing to admit to himself what the talents of his opponents are, and at the same time shows Marcus really is skilled -- all in one sentence.
Awww, thanks! Also, tangent: I tend to have two mutually exclusive theories about Lee's (im)partiality. The first is the one presented in this story, that he's mostly impartial but just gets a bit carried away when someone commits a foul, especially when that someone is a potentially talented player--and really, Marcus must have some talent beyond cheating, or why else would he be Captain?
The second is that Lee gets away with being rather biased because he's really smart and good at Transfigurations and therefore he's McGonnagal's favourite.
I like pretty boy 'cause it's hot. :-) It is.
Good. It was supposed to be. :D Random bit of hotness in the middle of everything else, but then I couldn't resist adding some cynisism.
And I love the last sentence, because despite the comparisons between Lee and the kids he sees before him, I so totally did not see that coming, and it hit me right where I live.
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From:
Re: Feedback, at last...
I have now. :-) I'd planned on reading them, then didn't get around to it. Though I read them just after you commented back. When I said Lather, … was my favourite amongst your writings, I meant among those I'd read. Sorry 'bout the confusion. I'd read all the HP drabbles which were under the same link. Though, having read you Lee/Marcus war drabbles, Lather, … is still my favourite. It's Percy. I do like Lee, and your Marcus, but your Percy just twisted something in me in a way Lee and Marcus can't quite manage. Which doesn't mean that I don't love them anyway, it just means that I really, really love your Percy.
About your Lee/Marcus war!drabbles.
I like requiem very much, and how it shows what it's like for Marcus. How he's not allowed to mourn for those he cares for, because everybody just considers him a Slytherin anyway. There's something very empty, very routinely and uncaring about that drabble -- especially when he starts contemplating his own funeral -- and it works. I also like how only one of the twins' body shows, like some irony of fate.
In perspective, I like how you let Lee turn something which seems like one of Marcus's faults turn into something positive. Or no, that's not quite right -- how you show that despite the fact that Lee doesn't like the fact that Marcus cheats, how underneath it all, he really thinks Marcus is a good player. It takes Lee from someone who thoughtlessly bashes the Slytherins to someone with a keen sense of observation, and someone who's at least willing to admit to himself what the talents of his opponents are, and at the same time shows Marcus really is skilled -- all in one sentence.
And I like how you show that they are so far into the war that it all doesn't matter anymore, that they see everything through the eyes of the war -- how what happened at Quidditch doesn't really matter anymore, just what happens during the war.
In personal, I like the last sentence, though I like it in relationship to the rest. There's something very slow and detached about the drabble, as though even Marcus is sort of experiencing it from a distance, almost reacting on instinct -- or on routine. Then, that last sentence hits hard.
I like pretty boy 'cause it's hot. :-) It is. And I love the last sentence, because despite the comparisons between Lee and the kids he sees before him, I so totally did not see that coming, and it hit me right where I live.
I like how Jordan's dreads -- and his scars -- seem to be some sort of metaphor for all that's been lost between Lee and Marcus. How their absence seems to say: it's not there anymore. It comes through strongest in sometimes, of course, but you use this throughout and I really like that.
From:
Re: Feedback, at last...
Sometimes, Lee leans against him as they're leaning over the desk.
Marcus supposes it's a start.
Awww.
He's not allowed to go out in the field anymore, and it's hard to really focus on maps, so instead, he focusses on Marcus.
I like that, though I can't really explain why. It's that "meant to be" feeling again, I suppose.
And I love the ending (war). How Marcus wants to make up for his mistakes -- and in a way it's all he's got on the side of light, all that makes him respectable: the fact that he is a good strategist. And now he lost. And all those people he's not allowed to mourn.
I like how Lee doesn't allow Marcus to be gentle. I'm glad you did it like this, because I would have felt cheated otherwise -- they're not some sort of sappy romance, they just… are. I like Marcus's "well, he's got a point" for that reason, 'cause it may be clumsy and wrong, but it's just that which makes the situation perfect. Or perfectly imperfect. :-) And I like the contract of how it's at the same time different and the same, how it seems out of time -- it seems to say that they have changed, and yet, deep down, they're still the same people.
I don't know if you can change mistakes easily, or if you even care, but if you do, I picked up the following:
In perspective
He looks the exactly the same as the last time Lee saw him: back straight, neck and shoulders tense, every inch the Quidditch Captain.
He does what he's good at, watching and reporting, calling things as he sees them no matter whether people liked what he said. (I only think that should be a present tense…)
He called Flint on his faults, and earning himself the eternal hatred of most of Slytherin House
In time:
then shakes his head at Marcus and mutters something about how corruption and filthy habits. (There seems to be a bit missing.)
Sorry, can't seem to keep myself from picking up stuff like that. Maybe because I make that kind of mistakes all the time myself. :-)
From:
Re: Feedback, at last...
Oh, cool, I hadn't thought of that, but I did think that Neville needed to put in an appearance to sort of break up this impression that everything in this story 'verse is doom and gloom. Also, I like Neville, and I think he'd be a very good doctor, and quite competent even in the face of all the horridly wounded that would stream in during a war, I think.
Marcus waking up with Lee lying on top of him is just sweet, and hopeful.
Isn't it? For reasons I still cannot figure out, I do love this pairing, despite its absolute groundlessness.
How Marcus wants to make up for his mistakes -- and in a way it's all he's got on the side of light, all that makes him respectable: the fact that he is a good strategist. And now he lost. And all those people he's not allowed to mourn.
Exactly! I really do feel bad for Marcus for what I put him through in this drabble series, because yes, Lee's the one who got raped and mutilated (don't know if I mention it in the drabbles, but Bole cost him a finger as well, and a lot of scars), but Marcus is the one who takes his job personal, no matter what he tells himself, because every time one of his people dies, he knows he'll be held responsible, and he's holding himself responsible, too.
I like how Lee doesn't allow Marcus to be gentle. I'm glad you did it like this, because I would have felt cheated otherwise -- they're not some sort of sappy romance, they just… are.
Which is exactly what I love about them. They're a completely impossible pair, and in this 'verse especially they're both too hopelessly damaged to ever have a healthy relationship after the war, I think, but right now, they're right for each other.
I like Marcus's "well, he's got a point" for that reason, 'cause it may be clumsy and wrong, but it's just that which makes the situation perfect.
I agonised over that for so long, because I wanted to make it clear that Marcus wasn't saying that Lee deserved to be raped because of what happened between them at Hogwarts, but that he's not seeing the difference between what Bole did to Lee and what he did to Lee, that he feels guilty, because at this point, he's already so used to feeling responsible for every bad thing that happens that it's hard to stop.
And thanks for the pointers on typos and spelling mistakes, will fix those on the next update!
From:
Re: Feedback, at last...
Hey, no problem, just checking. :) I tend to put a lot of my ideas on the War especially into various drabbles and stories, so I tend to reference those rather than try to explain in non-fic. <g>
I like requiem very much, and how it shows what it's like for Marcus. How he's not allowed to mourn for those he cares for, because everybody just considers him a Slytherin anyway. There's something very empty, very routinely and uncaring about that drabble -- especially when he starts contemplating his own funeral -- and it works. I also like how only one of the twins' body shows, like some irony of fate.
Hee! Glad you liked that. :) And yeah, this was one of the things I've written where the idea of the House Prejudices being some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy during the Second War really comes out.
Or no, that's not quite right -- how you show that despite the fact that Lee doesn't like the fact that Marcus cheats, how underneath it all, he really thinks Marcus is a good player.
Which I think is actually the main reason he's quite as nasty as he is about calling Marcus on his faults during the games, because he thinks Marcus is a great player, pro material, but this cheating shit won't fly in the pro league, and to Lee, it just makes no sense.
It takes Lee from someone who thoughtlessly bashes the Slytherins to someone with a keen sense of observation, and someone who's at least willing to admit to himself what the talents of his opponents are, and at the same time shows Marcus really is skilled -- all in one sentence.
Awww, thanks! Also, tangent: I tend to have two mutually exclusive theories about Lee's (im)partiality. The first is the one presented in this story, that he's mostly impartial but just gets a bit carried away when someone commits a foul, especially when that someone is a potentially talented player--and really, Marcus must have some talent beyond cheating, or why else would he be Captain?
The second is that Lee gets away with being rather biased because he's really smart and good at Transfigurations and therefore he's McGonnagal's favourite.
I like pretty boy 'cause it's hot. :-) It is.
Good. It was supposed to be. :D Random bit of hotness in the middle of everything else, but then I couldn't resist adding some cynisism.
And I love the last sentence, because despite the comparisons between Lee and the kids he sees before him, I so totally did not see that coming, and it hit me right where I live.
You have no idea how happy that just made me. :D