(no subject)

[bubosquared]

So yesterday evenig, my brother tried on my collar, and my mother said it made him look like a sissy boy.

...

Possbility one: She's always been like this, and somehow I managed to completely not notice it for twenty years and grown up without sex stereotyping and believing that heterosexuality is not the default, and I just recently came out of my own little world enough to notice that she's this ... prejudiced about a whole lot of stuff.

Possibility two: She really did used o be the open-minded woman I remember and only lately became this prejudiced.

I'm leaning towards two, because my brothers have the stereotype-less thing too, and it'd be too much of a coincidence. Which begs the question, why? Why'd she change? (And how do I make it stop?)

(Edit: I probably made that remark sound worse than it was. It wasn't said with malice, it was a throwaway thing. But that makes it worse somehow, becasue she doesn't even care. And my brother retorted he was in touch with his feminine side, and I calmly said that remarks like that were really nasty, and the subject was changed (as it always is. This is how my family works.) And while I'm proud of Sanne for sticking up for himself (he's thirteen! and he's less macho-centric than her!) an of myself for staying calm but still making my point, I want to know why we had to. He's a thirteen year old boy. I'm nearly 21 and barely have my shit together, but I know better than to say things like that, even if I was thinking them. I ... Shit!)

Comments

Re: Ah, parents

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

That's actually occured to me, too. (Because I've always been a tomboy and I don't know, maybe she's thinking I'm gay because she always allowed me to be like that? It just so doesn't sound like her!)

Re: Ah, parents

[coneyislandbaby]

Well, there are times that things we'd normally stop before we said them come out, too. Maybe that's what happened. It could be why it sounded so unlike her.

Besides, what's wrong with a guy looking femme? It's very attractive. Though that's prolly not the best POV to use with your mum.

Re: Ah, parents

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I think, and hell, it's what he thinks! The worst thing is, I suspect part of it may be that she thought it's make him not want to wear the thing (trust me, she has a history of manipulation like that), which would mean she knows him even less than she ever (didn't) know me. Which is scary.

And these things have to be there to begin with before they can "slip out" is the thing. I dunno, i just can't picture myself being angry enough to use that kind of words, ever at all, and she wasn't even angry. She wasn't anything.

And I really ought to just suck it up and talk to her, but that did me a fat lot of good last time I tried it. :/