(no subject)

See, Sae? Horns.

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**smacks self** Write! It's just copying words off the scrap of paper you started on. You can do this. If you don't, the bastards will win.

I will not be terrorised. Not. They will not take all the good things from my life.

Actually.

If anyone else wants to be put on the vigil list at femgeeks, let me know and I'll put you on. Or ask any other femgeek.

(no subject)

I think he said it really well.

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Bed time. Had hot chocolate. Still more scared now than I was yesterday.

Mr Bush, sir? Don't do anything rash? Please?

Good night, everyone. I love you all.

"a gay math teacher with evil plans to take over the world"

Well hell. I'm sold. :)

(no subject)

I've heard people say that if innocents must die in the name of justice, them so be it.

How can justice be done when innocents have died?

(no subject)

People talking about America and pride and how dare they attack the USA (not as in 'my home" but as in "the USA, land of the free, home of the brave, or however that schpiel goes) are scaring me. And hurting me. Because this is about the loss of human lives, not American lives.

And every time someone talks about it like that, I can't help but think, what about the IRA victims? The Red Hand Defender victims? The CCC? The Bende van Nijvel? UCK? All the victims in Northern Ireland, in Britain, in Belgium, in France, in Spain, wherethefuckever, what about them? Are their deaths less tragic because they were not American?

I don't caree if that's not what you mean. It's what you're implying when you talk about America, and pride, and how dare they. And coming from people I like, that's a slap in the face, because it feels like I'm worth less to them because I'm not American. It's as if, should the terrorists have targeted Europe, and sent the centre of Brussels aflame, those it wouldn't have been quite this bad because this isn't the USA, and Belgium is not some ideal, some epitome of freedom or whatever.

People are people are people. Everyone has people who care about them. Everyone. Ever violent death is a tragedy, every deceased is mourned over, and every terrorist should be caught and punished. Geography is not an issue here. This was not a crime against America, this was a crime against humanity. And every time someone gets up in arms about America over this, I feel like they would be less vengeful, less angry, less caring about my death, because I'm just a European. And that's just not something I want to think I'm hearing from my friends.

Everyone has the right to their own opinions, but I have the right to be irrational and frightened and angry, and to do the electronic equivalent of sitting in a corner with my teddybear, hands over my ears, singing "Lalalala, I can't hear you!"

(Edit: Of course I'll let my friends grieve. I'm grieving too. Everyone is grieving, and only a few are turning this into an American thing. And I really don't think this isn't an indication of something that was there all along: the conviction that America is, somehow, more special than any other country, and Americans are more special people than any other people. And that's what hurts me, and that's what I'm refusing to subject myself to.)

(no subject)

Song bits that've been in my head since it began. All U2, for some reason.

Won't you come back tomorrow?
Won't you come back tomorrow?
Won't you come back tomorrow?
Can I sleep tonight?
U2 - Tomorrow

Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
[...]
One life with each other
Sisters, brothers
One life, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other
One
One
U2 - One

I can't believe the news today
Oh, I can't close my eyes
And make it go away
[...]
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall
U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday

(no subject)

So I went to buy the new Dylan CD, and I browsed the gay books section, and I came across something that sounded good. Gay author, journal about picking up boys. Hm. Not bad. Then I flip it over and actually see the title.

PUPPIES

I laughed so hard I cried. People thought I was hysteric. Maybe I was. But god, I feel much better now.

Provisional verdict on the new Dylan CD

I like, i like! (Although, Mr Dylan, the 'tache is so not you. Ick. )

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Dude. Dylan is probably the only songwriter in existance who could write a knock-knock joke into a song.

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(I'm not angry, I'm not judging, I'm not generalising, I'm just scared. I feel like that's the only negative emotion I'm capable of anymore, and it'll be a long time before I can feel anything else again. And I'm not going to apologise for that, or for wanting to hide from the people who are enforcing that feeling. That doesn't make them bad. It just makes me frightened.)

(no subject)

Calmer. Wrote something on train. Found self incredibly amusing. people on train found self insane. Bloke across me actually moved awy to sit somewhere else. Found that incredibly amusing, too. Am quite possibly in shock. Should feed. Ingest sugar. Bah.

Must now go pay fine (argh! but otherwise it'll be even more) and decide if am up for IKEA trip with mother, then dinner at family's tomorrow after work. Um. See nervous breakdown in near future. Note to self: ingest enugh coffee tomorrow so can stay up long enough to talk to people on other side of globe.

Have tension headache. Right side of head is hypersensitive. Hate this. Painkillers do not cure it.

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(One last thing. Tam and Meimi aren't the only ones expressing pro-American sentiments. And yes, it smarts every time, but all other times I was able to shrug it off. I dunno. Maybe they caught me at a bad time or something. Just. Zarya, I am so not angry at you. Ever. At all. Amy, you're still on my friends list. The rest of you, please don't feel like you should watch what you're saying. Just remember, if I suddenly delete you from my friends list, I'm not angry with you, I'm just panicy and scared, and once this is over, I will add you back. K?)

(no subject)

OKay, so technically, this should go in the puppies friends group, but I figured everyone needs a giggle right now, yes?

( Yes! )

I want

Tabitha (of BMB) PJs saying "I slept with evil, and lived to tell the tale."

That'd be cool, yo!