Look here, we may be the Old World but we're not retarded. Contrary to popular beliefs, we're quite capable of taking care of ourselves, and we have a lot more culture than you Merkins. Free morals are a good thing; we don't have such hang-ups about alcohol ad other drugs. Also, we can organise elections. By computer, even. [Oooh, such a novel concept!]
And you don't see us electing Curious George the Monkey prez, now do you?
Bloody yanks. Always late to every war, too.