(no subject)

[bubosquared]

This was encouraged by safti before I landed this job, but I decicded to do it anyway. Call it catharsis or something.

Curriculum Vitae

Personal Information

Name: Sofie Werkers, or Melle if you're a friend from online
Address: http://www.independentsoul.net
Contact: sofie[at]werkers[dot]net, minerva[at]femgeeks[dot]net, or leave a comment in my LJ
Date of birth: 20 December 1980, which makes me SIXTEEN AND NOT TWENTY-THREE I SWEAR!
Nationality: Belgian, of chocolate and beer fame

Experience

RareSlash Moderator and RSA Archivist (1999-2001)

Employer: Right, like someone paid me for that?

Job description:

• Laying the smackdown on potential flamewars and OT posts.
• Updating the archive, hand-coded, once a week on Thursday.
• Resisting the urge to strangle people who whinge about their story not being up on the archive the day after it's posted.
• Encouraging (and staring in awe at) freaky pairings. (E.g. God/Satan, onelist/eGroups, eGroups/Yahoo!, etc.)

Owner and hostess of femgeeks.net (2001-current)

Employer: Once again, I wonder if I could've been getting paid for this.

Job description:

• Handing out web space to all and sundry.
• Panickedly searching for new web host after getting TOSsed from web host number one.
• Panickedly searching for new web host after web host number two succumbed to cranial-rectal inversion.
• Playing around with cool software and shit.

General Opinionated Bitch (1987-current), Opinionated Fannish Bitch (1997-current)

Employer: Thousands of people clamoring to know what I think of any given subject, from cheese to fonts to Harry Potter fandom! (Not buying it? Yeah, me neither. Dammit.)

Job description:

• Putting in some serious soapbox time, though not necessarily on a subject deserving of soapboxing.

Education

Secondary School

Latin/Maths. What is this "practical application" you speak of? Unless you mean Roman Generals slash?

Higher Education

Two failed years of uni, during which I spent more time on RareSlash and the RSA (see above) than on my courses.

Skills

Computer Skills

• HTML, XHTML, some manner of php and css. Real women code by hand.
• Windows 3.1/95/98/NT/2000/XP. Am Bill Gates' BITCH!
• PhotoShop, for the purpose of creating LJ icons, wallpapers, and other stuff, most of which containing boy- and/or girlsnogging.
• MS Office. I prefer Wordpad, though.
• FrontPage: *hiss* Can use it if necessary, will avoid if at all possible.

Languages

• Dutch: Native tongue. Punctuation is somewhat dodgy, but that's made up by grammar whore and spelling nazi tendencies. "MIN HOFD IZ ERAANGEPLAKTE YAY!"
• English: Better than most native English speakers online. Abhor chatspeak, l33t, and all variations thereof. Will occasionally sound like British Valley Girl. "MY HED IZ PASTEDE ON YAY!"
• French: Confident. Can order food, order booze, and order workmen around. "MA TETE EZT PATE SUR YEY!"

Other Skills

• Staying calm while being called a stalker, a bitch, a slanderer, etc.
• Locating slash stories in rare fandoms, often remembering said stories from RSA times.
• Slashing anything that moves, and a lot of things that don't (anymore).
• Notoriously (semi-)unsquickable.
• Running a joke into the ground.
• Typing mostly coherently and correct while smashing drunk.
• Quoting people, mostly out of context.

Other Information

• Maintained personal web site since 1997. (No eyebleeds reported since 2000!)
• Am easy to maintain; just give me coffee and pay me enough to cover rent, food, DSL, and my yearly trip to Escapade.

Comments

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

I am mighty impressed with your translations of Head-pastedeing.

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

*bows*

[dine.livejournal.com]

this sort of honesty in CV should be the standard!

I'm quite impressed with your multi-lingual skills (especially translating "MY HED IZ PASTEDE ON YAY!" which is barely English in the first place)

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

See, that's what I'm sayin'! Unfortunately, I don't think anyone would pay me to write gay porn. More's the pity.

And I really ought to find some way to get my French back to a decent level, so I can justify picking up a fourth language. I should take more advantage of the fact than I learn languages easily, dammit.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

i would so hire you. :D!!!

also, i like that you were born last year. <3

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

*fixes* Ahem; you never saw that. *shifty eyes*

(The sad thing is, that's not by far the first time I've done that.)