bubosquared | (no subject)

This was encouraged by safti before I landed this job, but I decicded to do it anyway. Call it catharsis or something.

Curriculum Vitae

Personal Information

Name: Sofie Werkers, or Melle if you're a friend from online
Address: http://www.independentsoul.net
Contact: sofie[at]werkers[dot]net, minerva[at]femgeeks[dot]net, or leave a comment in my LJ
Date of birth: 20 December 1980, which makes me SIXTEEN AND NOT TWENTY-THREE I SWEAR!
Nationality: Belgian, of chocolate and beer fame

Experience

RareSlash Moderator and RSA Archivist (1999-2001)

Employer: Right, like someone paid me for that?

Job description:

Laying the smackdown on potential flamewars and OT posts.
Updating the archive, hand-coded, once a week on Thursday.
Resisting the urge to strangle people who whinge about their story not being up on the archive the day after it's posted.
Encouraging (and staring in awe at) freaky pairings. (E.g. God/Satan, onelist/eGroups, eGroups/Yahoo!, etc.)

Owner and hostess of femgeeks.net (2001-current)

Employer: Once again, I wonder if I could've been getting paid for this.

Job description:

Handing out web space to all and sundry.
Panickedly searching for new web host after getting TOSsed from web host number one.
Panickedly searching for new web host after web host number two succumbed to cranial-rectal inversion.
Playing around with cool software and shit.

General Opinionated Bitch (1987-current), Opinionated Fannish Bitch (1997-current)

Employer: Thousands of people clamoring to know what I think of any given subject, from cheese to fonts to Harry Potter fandom! (Not buying it? Yeah, me neither. Dammit.)

Job description:

Putting in some serious soapbox time, though not necessarily on a subject deserving of soapboxing.

Education

Secondary School

Latin/Maths. What is this "practical application" you speak of? Unless you mean Roman Generals slash?

Higher Education

Two failed years of uni, during which I spent more time on RareSlash and the RSA (see above) than on my courses.

Skills

Computer Skills

HTML, XHTML, some manner of php and css. Real women code by hand.
Windows 3.1/95/98/NT/2000/XP. Am Bill Gates' BITCH!
PhotoShop, for the purpose of creating LJ icons, wallpapers, and other stuff, most of which containing boy- and/or girlsnogging.
MS Office. I prefer Wordpad, though.
FrontPage: *hiss* Can use it if necessary, will avoid if at all possible.

Languages

Dutch: Native tongue. Punctuation is somewhat dodgy, but that's made up by grammar whore and spelling nazi tendencies. "MIN HOFD IZ ERAANGEPLAKTE YAY!"
English: Better than most native English speakers online. Abhor chatspeak, l33t, and all variations thereof. Will occasionally sound like British Valley Girl. "MY HED IZ PASTEDE ON YAY!"
French: Confident. Can order food, order booze, and order workmen around. "MA TETE EZT PATE SUR YEY!"

Other Skills

Staying calm while being called a stalker, a bitch, a slanderer, etc.
Locating slash stories in rare fandoms, often remembering said stories from RSA times.
Slashing anything that moves, and a lot of things that don't (anymore).
Notoriously (semi-)unsquickable.
Running a joke into the ground.
Typing mostly coherently and correct while smashing drunk.
Quoting people, mostly out of context.

Other Information

Maintained personal web site since 1997. (No eyebleeds reported since 2000!)
Am easy to maintain; just give me coffee and pay me enough to cover rent, food, DSL, and my yearly trip to Escapade.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am mighty impressed with your translations of Head-pastedeing.

*bows*

this sort of honesty in CV should be the standard!

I'm quite impressed with your multi-lingual skills (especially translating "MY HED IZ PASTEDE ON YAY!" which is barely English in the first place)

See, that's what I'm sayin'! Unfortunately, I don't think anyone would pay me to write gay porn. More's the pity.

And I really ought to find some way to get my French back to a decent level, so I can justify picking up a fourth language. I should take more advantage of the fact than I learn languages easily, dammit.

i would so hire you. :D!!!

also, i like that you were born last year. <3

*fixes* Ahem; you never saw that. *shifty eyes*

(The sad thing is, that's not by far the first time I've done that.)