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[bubosquared]

So, last night, After signing off of AIM, I watched the medleys one last time, checked my friends page for one more time, and went to bed in a happy ball of squee. That was around one AM.

Around four AM, I woke up, sobbing and halfway screaming, from the first actual nightmare I can remember ever having. I literally tripped out of bed, threw on some clothes, managed to remember my keys, thankfully, and went downstairs. It wasn't until I could actually see the sky, the stars, and breathe in actual fresh air, that I began to really wake up.

I tried to smoke a cigarette to calm down, but my hands were shaking so badly I didn't dare risk it.

Even now, I can't remember a lot of the details of this nightmare. I remember fire, and bombs, and gunshots. Lots of violence. The dead, mutilated body of my youngest brother. Bodies everywhere. Blood. More fire, more gunshots. Everywhere. Feeling like there was no escaping, no safe haven anywhere.

After twenty minutes, I calmed down enough to go back upstairs, take a quick shower, re-make my bed, and go back to sleep for a bit. No more nightmares that time, thankfully.

If it takes me another twenty-one years to have my next proper nightmare, I'll be glad.

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[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

And I've actually once dreamed I shot my mother, but I've never really been scared by a dream before. It's v. weird.