Dammit.

[bubosquared]

a few of my close friends are gay too, and i still think it is wrong even thought i love them.
(From 'reviews' of Nat's U2 slash.)

Things like this make me want to curl up in a corner and glare at the world. (Or alternatively, seek out this person's friends and comfort them.)

Just. "Hate the sin, love the sinner" does. not. work for me, you know? I've always been lucky in that my friends are all gay, bi or accepting. (Or maybe not lucky, since I met most of my friends through slashdom, either directly or indirectly, so the accepting thing is par for the course.) I can only try to imagine having a friend, someone close to you, someone you care for, say things like "I think it's disgusting that you fall in love with people of your own sex, but I still love you." Even just imagining it hurts.

Every now and then something happens that makes me stop taking for granted how good I have it. I'm out to my family, I'm out to my coworkers, I'm out to my friends, I'm out to pretty much everyone as gay (and as a slash writer), and I can afford to not care about what strangers think of me, because the people that matter to me accept me as I am. And most of the time, I take all this in stride, which makes things like this even more of a smack in the face.

I am an obnoxious git. I need to be smacked in the head on a more regular basis to be reminded of my luck. Any takers?

Sigh. Maybe I just need a change of music.

Comments

[meacoustic.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Sometimes you have to look past that in people, though. I went through the same thing with Amanda for awhile, because while she's accepting of LGB people, it's against her religion to be LGB. I think part of why she can accept me how I am is because I'm not Mormon, and she knows that I don't practice religion. It kind of works both ways - she doesn't believe in homosexuality, and I don't believe in the Church. But neither of us hold it against each other. To each his own, you know?

It kind of hurts to know that she thinks homosexuality isn't normal, but I can accept that she thinks that because I know the reasons why her opinion is what it is. As long as I know where she's coming from, and I know her reasons for believing what she does, I'm fine with it. Because I know she's happy I'm happy with SS partners. She's always stood up for me and other LGB people, despite her personal beliefs.

I have to give her a lot of credit for being accepting of me and our other LGB friends because it's all pretty new to her. She doesn't know anyone in Utah who's out, and she didn't come into contact with any gay people that she knew of when she was growing up. Sarah (our old RA) and I were the first gay people she ever met. One of the things I admire most about Amanda is her willingness to get to know someone for who they are, to learn about things she's never encountered before. I don't know any other people who'll take a G&L Lit class when they don't believe in homosexuality, but she did, just to learn. And I have to give her credit for that.

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

You're a stronger person than I am. I don't think I could live with that. I may not be my sexual orientation, but it'd feel like people are rejecting a (rather large) part of who and what I am.

Er. Whatever.

[meacoustic.livejournal.com]

It's not like Amanda rejects the fact that I'm gay, or denies that I am, or anything like that. She understands that it's part of who I am and never has she asked me to even consider denying that part of myself. I'm proud of her for accepting me for who I am, and accepting others, despite it being contrary to her religious beliefs.

I don't know if I ever told you this, but her sister came out last year as being a lesbian, and Amanda's reaction was "I want to write her a letter and let her know that even if Mom and Dad and everyone else isn't okay with it, I am." Homosexuality may be a sin in her book, but Amanda's not above being friends with us sinners. One of the reasons we get along as well as we do is because she doesn't push her religious beliefs on anyone. It's like she has this "I'm not going to push my beliefs on to you as long as you don't push yours on me" philosophy. And just as I'm happy to answer whatever she asks me about being gay, she always answers the questions I have about Mormonism.

It certainly makes for some interesting late-night philosophical discussions. And people wonder why I never get any sleep! :-)

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's like Vali says below, the difference between "it makes me uncomfortable because I don't think it's right" and "I think it's sick and you're going to burn in eternal hell and I never want to even be aware of the fact that you are like this."

Or something.

[ex-verdandi713.livejournal.com]

I can deal with, "This makes me uncomfortable because I don't really understand it, but I love you." Familiarity breeds greater tolerance over time. On the other hand, "The very thought of you holding hands with another woman makes me retch into my shoes, but I still love you," yeah. Sure you do. (I'm fortunate in that the absolute worst responses I've gotten in my own immediate family have been the former and not the latter.)

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Ah. Yes, me too. The first is rather like people not understanding and not really being comfortable with hearing me babble about being a writer.

I sot of got the "No, you're not" reaction from my mom. Or rather, "You can't be sure of that." Yeah. Thanks, mum.