Thoughts

[bubosquared]

I realised I'm rather defensive when it comes to the boysband thing. I'm defensive when it comes to my music in general, but the boysband thing is what people look down on the most. Diss my music and I will become a fierce lioness protecting her cubs.

I'm a writer. Writing is what I do. Writer's blocks drive me batty, up the wall and round the fucking corner. But not to suicide. Deafness, though, would do that. Because although writing is my (ahem) 'calling', my talent, my purpose in life, music is what holds me up, what keeps me alive and sane and breathing.

I'm thirteen, and a Beatlesfan in a school full of technoheads, and it was one of the things they latched onto the most, and if only I could give in and adjust, everything'd be fine, but i can't.

Because it touched me. In My Life made me sniffly. Obladi Oblada made me giggle. Here Comes the Sun made me happy. In Not Those Damn English Freaks But Still Borig Old People Music: Bridge Over Troubled Water fucking tore me up. The songs touched me. I couldn't, wouldn't give them up no matter how much I was mocked, taunted, looked down on, and bullied for it.

Later, there was Dylan, who can take me through the whole emotional spectrum in the space of one CD, and Metallica and the Sex Pistols and Bon Jovi and ABBA and Meat Loaf and all the music that touched me, made me feel.

There's this shiny new place in my emotional spectrum, where I'm not angry or hurt or frustrated but just cheerily violent, flipping the whole world the finger, and it's a good place to be in and whether I use So What or Pop or It's My Life or Break Stuff, does it really matter? Do you really care? Do Is it really a reason to look down on me?

I hate it when people judge me by anything but who I really am. My taste in music, the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I walk, where I work, where I shop, what I watch, what I write, who my friends are, none of these things are me.

And judging me or anyone else by those criteria is incredibly snobbish and prejudiced.

Comments

Thoughts.....

[yvening.livejournal.com]

Hey there Melle,

Such an odd dichotomy that's out there right now. Allow me to explain.

So much more is present now that prevents us as people to connect with one another on a personal, physical manner. Examples of this include technological advances in communication such as cell phones, email, pdas, and jobs that demand people to spend more time away from loved ones and friends (and thus, more solitary time).

As a result of the growth of distance, hopes to aspire to something seemingly more desireable and higher (way of dress, trend in music, etc.) in order to fill the void left by the lack of a healthy amount of human interaction is now grander than it ever was. The ramifications of this is a gross level of insecurity, coupled with an even stronger desire/need for acceptance.

This is a grave thing. To be honest, it saddens me. However, the solution is so simple it's not even funny.....which is to embrace who you are within first and foremost. Sure, that may be daunting task, but who gives a flying rat's ass? The answer, as I've always said, lies in the attempt.

Once the person makes that attempt, is when their journey home finally begins.

Re: Thoughts.....

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Wow. That was deep. Thank you.

Re: Thoughts.....

[yvening.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think it was the lunch I was eating yesterday as I typed that.