Random Rant

I don't drive. I don't own a car, I don't have a driving license, and yes, I'm twenty-one. I tried for two years to get a license, decided that while I'd mastered the mechanics of driving perfectly, I'm just too dangerous on the road, and said "Screw this." I walk, I take public transport, and sometimes I use my bike.

It's difficult sometimes, most notably when I'm trying to get two weeks worth of groceries back from the store on my falling-apart bike, but I manage. I deal. Unfortunately, I also deal with a lot of morons on wheels, otherwise known as Drivers. So, presenting to the general public, for the good of my nerves, my life, and your car:

How To Drive So I Don't Have To Kill You

1. Stay the fuck outta my territory. Sidewalks belong to the pedestrians. They are not there to park your car. When you do this, you force us to swerve onto the street in order to continue our way. Do you need a diagram to show you how suicidal this manoevre can be? Remember, you're dealing with people here, not cars. We get hit by a car, any car, or even a bike, we're the ones hurting.

The no-parking rule goes double for zebra crossings. Crossing a street often means putting our lives at risk, because Fucking Drivers don't see why they should stop at a zebra crossing. (More on that, later.) Please don't make this even harder by forcing us to suddenly appear (to the oncoming traffic) from between two parked cars. A lot of people do stop for pedestrians, but their job is made a lot harder by like you. And that goes for stopping on zebra crossings as well, btw. There is no excuse! None! So stop blubbering and get your shiny metal ass out. of. my. way!

2. Hey, I'm walking, here! Look, it's not that freakin' hard, okay? See this? The white stripes on the back road? Looks like a zebra, right? That's why it's called a zebra crossing. When you see someone crossing, or starting to cross, or intending to cross, a zebra crossing, you stop. No if's, not but's. Stop. Let them cross. Then continue on your merry way. No, don't "quickly" slip by in front of someone. It's dangerous as fuck, and it scares the living daylights out of even a veteran like me.

For that matter, don't slip by after someone, either. Give. Me. Some. Goddamn. Space! If you don't stop until you're so close I'm practically sitting on your hood, I'm not sure if you are going to stop, and I'll hesitate, and I'll taken even longer to cross, and you'll have to wait longer for me to cross. See how that goes? Just stop at a reasonable distance from my shins and we'll all get along a lot better.

3. Hey, I'm riding, here! You may think that a bike, having wheels, is equal to a car. Guess what? Whe're not. We don't have four walls of solid steel protecting us from your moronic driving habits. If you hit me at the same speed that would just scratch another car, you're going to break my goddamn bones! A little space, please? I'm not asking for much, okay, I'm just saying that when you pass me, I'd prefer it if I didn't have to take one hand off the wheel to avoid it being scraped away by your side-mirror. I'm saying that I'd like to be able to hit the brakes without getting your three ton of steel and pollution rammed up my ass because you cannot keep your fucking distance!

4. Respect mah humanitay! Hey, you know what? I may not own a dick (or tits) on wheels, but I'm still an actual person, you know, and I'd like to be treated as one. Don't honk at me for claiming my right of way, don't glare, don't make rude gestures, and don't ever shout obscenities at me. You may be richer than I am, but in my list of priorities, a human life is still above saving time. So fuck off, you goddamn assholes!

5. Don't. Just. Don't. Don't drive, unless you absolutely cannot avoid it. Experience life from this side for once, and relieve the strain of traffic. If less people would take their cars to go to the bakery, those who actually need to drive would have it easier, and so would we. Pedestrians take up a lot less space that cars, so things would flow a lot more smoothly. Also, hey! Good for the environment, and for your wallet! Just. Consider it. Y'know?

If nothing else, it'll spare you a close encounter with my size eight Doc Martens, which will be planted all over the next Goddamn Car that is In My Way, and up the ass of a few choice obnoxious drivers violating rule four.

Think about it.

(no subject)

Reunion Countdown: 25 days
No Longer A Pedophile Countdown: 190 days

Yo, Z! We need to set a time for chat-in this weekend. I'm taking Monday off, so it's basically your call. :)

If god loves children, why does everyone keep growing up?

I'm so tiiiired! *drinks coffee*
Coffee: "Wheeee!" *travels through bloodstream, waking the neighbourhood*
Justin: *yawn* *sits on Joey's lap*
Chris: *grunt, steals coffee, goes to lick on Justin*
Melle: !

*Nsync Card: *dances*
Paperclips: *clips*
Chris Puppet: *puppets*
Melle: *is on crack*

(no subject)

Having a random bout of "Bleh, I don't like the layout of my site anymore."

Meep?

(no subject)

So I'm thinking, the Slash Across America thing? How about extending that to Slash Across the World, hm? I'm sure I could have fun with the boys in Belgium.

"What's our next stop again?"

"Belgium."

"Belgium?" Justin wondered out loud. "Isn't that in Canada?" Chris smacked him.

"No, Justin, Belgium isn't in Canada. It's a small country between Holland and France, known for its lace, chocolate and beer."

"Lace?" JC perked up.

"Lace, chocolate and beer?" Joey looked up from his crossword puzzle. "What the hell kind of combination is that?"

And then there would be crazy hijinks as the boys get lost in Antwerp after playing in the Sportpaleis, and wander into the gay area, which really wouldn't be that hard. :D

In other news, I have much more fun in other peoples' dreams than I do in reality. Sigh. Story of my life.

(no subject)

Have just had the dubious honour of being the first to discover a case of plagiarism. Oh yes. More shameful than CC, and that's saying something. Good god!

Also

Ruth? Remember the summer you came to Europe, and the big broohaha some archivist made about you linking to her? Was that Ten Buck Fucks?

Of fandom kernuffles

1. The plagiarism thing. So here I am, sitting at work, bored out of my skull, waiting for two fuckers to return my call so I can send this fucking fax and go the fuck home. I check my mail for the gazillionth time today. Oh, look, a new story on the U2 slash list. I open, I scan the Author's Notes, I do a double take at the mention of the name "Cassandra Williams", which is joanne_c's RPS pseud. I read the A/N:

I wanted to post this story for quite a while now, and since it's so quiet lately I guess this is my big chance. :) First of all I have to say thank you to all of you who contributed such wonderful fics to this list, and I'm sorry that I didn't review them as much as they'd deserved. I love them to pieces. :) A special thank you goes out to Stephanie who encouraged me to this contribution with her own two first stories which I found awesome. She's a lot braver than me, because this story isn't completely my own. So the biggest thank you has to go to the author of the original even if I doubt she'll ever read it.

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy the final result, and please be patient with me since English isn't my native tongue. So any mistakes you might (and *will* find) are my very own. :) Next time I hope I'll be back with something completely on my own.

***

*This is a remake of a story by Cassandra Williams with the same title that I found on the site "RealPeopleSmut" (http://www.femgeeks.net/rs-x/rpstories.htm) in the David Bowie section. I found this story amazing, the only thing that could get improvement in my personal opinion was the "heroes". ;) So I made some "casting changes" and adapted the story to the needs of Bono and Edge. I also added some completely new parts to the original. I guess you'll figure it out. :) What attracted me about this story was the fact that the original characters are quite a bit older than our beloved boys. So instead of making them younger I simply decided to place this story in the future.*

...

I just. I can't even think what to say about this. "So the biggest thank you has to go to the author of the original even if I doubt she'll ever read it." Has it ever occured to you to just ask her, you comlpete, utter moron?!? Words fail me, okay? Suffice to say, as far as I can see, her "reworking" is basically word-for-word c&p-ing with names changed, some details altered and two sentences worked in here and there.

2. Ten Buck Fucks. You know, a year and a half ago, this chit threw a similar fit because rsadelle "wouldn't" remove the link on her site. (And I put "wouldn't" in quote marks because she simply couldn't, what with being busy trekking across Europe and all.) I'd like to send her an emil, but all I can think of is "Honey, if you really think anyone's going to see a link from and RPS site to your archive -- which, btw, is not your personal preaching ground -- and think that means you "endorse" RPS, do yourself a favour and trade in some of your ego for some common sense."

I hate irrisponsible listmods and archivists who use a list/archive as bargaining mterial for their own presonal crusades! HATE THEM!

3. Void and related broohaha. Repeat after me, people. "We are not our stories." Wax does not torture people irl, I'm not an airhead, and Stephen King does not see ghosts.

*deep breath*

IRC, anyone? :)

Sigh.

Next time I pick a pet cause, someone remind me to pick one where the other side is less with the drama queen antics and more with the common sense?

Oops. Did I do that?

Subject: TBF
Date: Tue, 19 Feb 2002 22:08:25 +0100
From: Sofie 'Melle' Werkers
Organization: femgeeks dot net -- for chicks with byte
To: hcl@squidge.org

Hi,

A little note from the author of the FMO, here. Just wanted to tell you that the FMO was never intended to convert people to the beauty of RPS. It was meant to point out that RPS is not any more illegal than FPS, that it's not necessarily morally wrong, and that people should stop overreacting about it.

Do you honestly think that being linked to by an RPS site is going tomake people think you "approve" of it? I'm not gonna call you a nazi cunt or whatever, but I'm gonna respectfully suggest you trade in some of that ego and get some common sense.

Congratulations, by the way, for making it into my top three of Irresponsible, Drama Queen Archivists/Listmods.

Melle

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BART: [To the sky.] Ah, God? Have you perhaps accidentally forsaken me, 
or is it just hard to break the habit of punishing me, because I've 
usually done it? Nelson IS evil! He just wears it better than I do. 
(From God's Little Chancre by Xebot)
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site: http://www.independentsoul.net | email: minerva[at]femgeeks.net
IRC: chatnet #femgeeks  | MSM: badevilgrrl@hotmail.com |  AIM: femgeek
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Whoops, just realised my URL is in that sig. Oh no! I associated hre with RPS! Sob!

The plagiarism kernuffle dealt with.

Subject: Re: [U2Bubblegum] Okay now, here we go! ... Fic!!!
Date: Tue, 19 Feb 2002 23:22:01 +0100
From: Sofie 'Melle' Werkers 
Organization: femgeeks dot net -- for chicks with byte
To: U2Bubblegum@yahoogroups.com

This is probably not going to make me very popular, but I feel like I
have to say something here.

First of all, taking someone else's story, changing the names to fit
your fandom, even if you're adding some of your own, is at the very best
rather tacky. Doing it without asking  the original author, however, is
plagiarism. You are using someone else's words and creativity without
permission.

I am, quite frankly, shocked and more than a little appalled that you
didn't even think of sending Cassandra an email telling her what you
did. Don't thank her in the author's notes, thank her in person. It's
the least you can do for someone you're leeching off.

Melle

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There are people talking in sentences that have no punchline and they
don't even care. (Vince; Queer as Folk)
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site: http://www.independentsoul.net | email: minerva[at]femgeeks.net
IRC: chatnet #femgeeks  | MSM: badevilgrrl@hotmail.com |  AIM: femgeek
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Feh. Well, at least that's two out of three.