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I'll try and get more coherent thoughts up later, after I've had sleep and such, but for now:
- "Big Bear." Little John, I believe the proper phrase here is "Get yer coat, luv, ye've pulled." LOVE! SO MUCH LOVE! Also, how awesome was her rack?
- Allan! Guy! Marian! *flail* The hugging, and the smiling, and OMG someone please write be Missing Scene fic about Guy and Allan coming up with this plan, please?
- I want Djaq/John/Eleanor. Pretty please with sprinkles on top?
- That Legrand guy irritated me, and it took me until halfway through the episode before I realised why: he reminds me too much of Eighties era George Michael.
- [ETA] Oh! There was more Allan sleeping in random places -- this is totally never going to get any explanation in canon, is it? Gah. [/ETA]
Brief reaction to the extended trailer: "Your loyalty will be rewarded." *flail, keyboardmash* Rationally, I know Allan will go back to the Outlaws, but dammit, even without the shippy bits, it's going to break my heart if Guy gets betrayed by yet another person. :(
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week'sfortnight's. Why? Well, I've just finished capping all of this week's and I have uncovered a discrepancy: This frame from last week's preview of this week's episode doesn't appear anywhere in THIS week's episode. *raises eyebrow* I cap frame-by-frame, by hand, I notice these things. ¬.¬it's going to break my heart if Guy gets betrayed by yet another person. :(
Me too. :-( I cling to the irrationally fangirly hope as he's STILL wearing
Guy'shis natty black trews, that Allan's being a proper henchbloke, using the Outlaws to get to the Holy Landending up tied to two posts to dehydrate TO DEATH so Guy can wander along and Do Rescue that will result in many hours of tent-based rehydration, patching up and nekkid physical exercise.I'm an optimist, so sue me.ALSO, I fear that the preview for the upcoming (but not upcoming fast enough OMG) episode is for the first ep; not the second. *chews nails* This bothers me because that means there's 45 mins of episode wedon'tevengetaclueaboutyet. *gulp*
Oh! There was more Allan sleeping in random places -- this is totally never going to get any explanation in canon, is it? Gah
No. Do we want it explaining in canon? *long pause* I'll put that another way... Do we want it explaining in pre-watershed, non-internet, kid-friendly canon? Or wouldn't it be better to be lead to assume by the way Allan doesn't 'sleep' in store rooms so much as 'doze elegantly in the mode of a knackered rentboy' that, with this one, assumption trumps canon TOTALLY. *nodnod*
Eleanor of Racquitaine is WIN.
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Dude, I'm going to spend the next two weeks pretending that this is the way it's going to go:
Marian: "Go kill the Sheriff and I'll marry you."
Guy: "Mkay. ALLAN! Let's go kill the Sheriff. I know we'll probably get ourselves killed, but--"
Allan: "'Kay."
Guy: "... I was expecting more resistance, here."
Allan: "Mah loyalty, let me show you it!"
Guy: "You are so my BFF now."
Allan: "<3!"
[plottage happens that means Allan has to go convince the Outlaws to help. Robin, being the bloomin' idiot that he is, gets Allan tied to poles in the desert. Fangirl faintage ensues.]
Guy: "NOOO! THEY BE TAKIN' MAH
BOYTOYBFFHENCHMAN!" [Insert thrilling heroics here, and killing of the Sheriff.]Marian: "Well, crap, I didn't think you'd actually do it. Now I have to tell Robin why I can't marry him."
Guy: "Bah, marry him. I don't need you, I has an Allan. :D" [Rides off into sunset with Allan.]
Marian: *fascinated by the hip movements* "Well, crap. There goes my last chance for a decent shag. :( "
Robin: *is too busy sexing up Carter/King Richard/Much to notice anything going on at all*
MAH DELUSIONS, LET ME SHOW U DEM!
ALSO, I fear that the preview for the upcoming (but not upcoming fast enough OMG) episode is for the first ep; not the second. *chews nails* This bothers me because that means there's 45 mins of episode wedon'tevengetaclueaboutyet. *gulp*
I KNOOOOOW! And I'll have to wait an extra day to see the eps, because I'll be in Belgium until Sunday and while we do get the Beeb, I'm not watching this show with my mother and brothers around. Just, no.
No. Do we want it explaining in canon? *long pause* I'll put that another way... Do we want it explaining in pre-watershed, non-internet, kid-friendly canon? Or wouldn't it be better to be lead to assume by the way Allan doesn't 'sleep' in store rooms so much as 'doze elegantly in the mode of a knackered rentboy' that, with this one, assumption trumps canon TOTALLY. *nodnod*
But what if that's the canon explanation, eh?
Eleanor of Racquitaine is WIN.
I am SO TOTALLY calling her that from now on. And seriously, when they return from the Holy Land, they totally need to make a stop at Acquitaine so John can get some sexing. He deserves a good fuck, and maybe she can convince him to wash his hair. Win-win situation! Although possibly difficult to explain to the King. ("Yeah, we won't be going straight back to England, we need to make a brief detour so Little John here can shag your mum." AWKWARD!)
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YOU ROCK! My brain hasn't got any further than Guy cutting his Allan down and making him LOTS BETTER. 'Cause it's not like Marian'd do the whole 'Guy, you're going to get KILLED trying to kill the Sheriff... Umm, sex before you go? Plz?' thing. (Marian'd be all 'I solemnly swear I'll be virgin white n' up for it when you get back, and I promise Robin hasn't fingered me up the duck pond.')
Robin: *is too busy sexing up Carter/King Richard/Much to notice anything going on at all*
Robin, doing what he does best - pretty boys with solid abs.
I KNOOOOOW! And I'll have to wait an extra day to see the eps, because I'll be in Belgium until Sunday and while we do get the Beeb, I'm not watching this show with my mother and brothers around. Just, no.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO! *clings tightly*
But what if that's the canon explanation, eh?
Then this show needs a Torchwood-y spin-off. 'Cause dammit, we're loyal fangirls and we deserve all the snoggy-groping visuals!
"Yeah, we won't be going straight back to England, we need to make a brief detour so Little John here can shag your mum." AWKWARD!
Oh I dunno, if Richard's all post-Robin/Much sandwich when they tell him - he's probably going to say "Yeah, that sounds like my mum." (Then clamp his hands on Robin's arse, give his butt a good squeeze and Robin'll be all "HEY, YOUR MAJESTY! I TOP!" and Richard'll be all "Do you really need a head for that?" and Robin'll be all "... *unfastens trews* It will be a pleasure to bottom for your majesty.")
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Srsl! This is why I love the idea of Guy killing the Sheriff and then telling Marian to fuck off with HoodieBoy, then, if the only way she'll agree to marry him is as payment.
And really, there needs to be riding off into the sunset for the boys. (Allan: "Hn? Injuries what now? HIPS! O_O")
Robin, doing what he does best - pretty boys with solid abs.
Damn right. And really, not objecting to that, as such. :D
Then this show needs a Torchwood-y spin-off. 'Cause dammit, we're loyal fangirls and we deserve all the snoggy-groping visuals!
Damn fucking right! Dear BBC: please realise that there is a fucking army of women around who will faithfully watch just about anything if it involves two men snogging.
Oh I dunno, if Richard's all post-Robin/Much sandwich when they tell him - he's probably going to say "Yeah, that sounds like my mum."
Actually, good point. So Robin's all casually "
"Yeah, we won't be going straight back to England, we need to make a brief detour so Little John here can shag your mum," and John is all "asdkjasd;lka" and hiding behind Djaq, and the King just goes "My sympathies. Last man she took a shine to couldn't walk for a year." And maybe hinting that Djaqq should share the secret of middle-eastern medieval viagra with John. :D
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Things I Don't Like About Marian This Season #1. Ok, so last season Guy was so about with Teh Prezzies, but that's because he's sweet and slightly inept and doesn't really get the dating thing. Also, Allan totally gets teh Guy + prezzies thing. *nod nod*
And really, there needs to be riding off into the sunset for the boys. (Allan: "Hn? Injuries what now? HIPS! O_O")
OH YES! Or at the very least a very clever escape involving one of Saladin's mobile homes n' Guy n' Allan doing the 'OH YES WE'VE NICKED A WAGON THAT'S 99% FEATHER BED! WE WIN AT LIFE!' thing.
Damn right. And really, not objecting to that, as such. :D
Me either. I only object to Robin's pretensions of outright hetero manhood when he's been with his 'manservant' for TEN YEARS and has spent most of this season wrapped around Will. Dear Marian, get your brains together and GO WITH GUY - bisexuality ftw!
Damn fucking right! Dear BBC: please realise that there is a fucking army of women around who will faithfully watch just about anything if it involves two men snogging.
P.S. BBC, you can double that army if Richard Armitage is involved. Two words: George Gently!
"Yeah, we won't be going straight back to England, we need to make a brief detour so Little John here can shag your mum," and John is all "asdkjasd;lka" and hiding behind Djaq, and the King just goes "My sympathies. Last man she took a shine to couldn't walk for a year." And maybe hinting that Djaqq should share the secret of middle-eastern medieval viagra with John. :D
And Djaq being all "UH-HUH!" and hiding the bottle 'cause Will's going to be needing that later.
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That's cause Guy gave him a HORSIE! :D And really, who doesn't love horsies? (Well, Marian, apparently, but whatever.)
OH YES! Or at the very least a very clever escape involving one of Saladin's mobile homes n' Guy n' Allan doing the 'OH YES WE'VE NICKED A WAGON THAT'S 99% FEATHER BED! WE WIN AT LIFE!' thing.
Oh god, please can we have Allan randomly falling asleep on Guy on the journey over? He's tired! And bored! And needs his sleep, and they're in cramped quarters on the ship and !!!!
Me either. I only object to Robin's pretensions of outright hetero manhood when he's been with his 'manservant' for TEN YEARS and has spent most of this season wrapped around Will.
Seriously, how blatant does the boy need to get, really?
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Horsie AND told him to take his pick from The Gisborne Wardrobe. (Marian = certifiable and a loser. Nuff said.) HORSIE! *_*
Oh god, please can we have Allan randomly falling asleep on Guy on the journey over? He's tired! And bored! And needs his sleep, and they're in cramped quarters on the ship and !!!!
I fear Allan's travelling plans have been booked with Team Loser. :-\ Though, like THAT is going to stop fangirl central from THINKING and CONSIDERING ALL AVAILABLE POSSIBILITIES! Like my mushy side wonders if Guy indulges in a little gloveless throat stroking when he's 100% absolutely convinced that Allan's napping, 'cause let's be honest Allan'd give anyone a neck fetish.
Seriously, how blatant does the boy need to get, really?
Become the bowman in the Locksley Village People?
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HORSIEEEE! :D I bet he smiled just like he did when Marian hugged him, all "Bweeeee!" :D
I fear Allan's travelling plans have been booked with Team Loser. :-\ Though, like THAT is going to stop fangirl central from THINKING and CONSIDERING ALL AVAILABLE POSSIBILITIES!
I WAS ABOUT TO SAY! I have TWO WEEKS in which to cling to my delusions, and my delusions involve sleepy!Allan and possibly sharing bunks. TWO WEEKS! NO LESS!
Like my mushy side wonders if Guy indulges in a little gloveless throat stroking when he's 100% absolutely convinced that Allan's napping, 'cause let's be honest Allan'd give anyone a neck fetish.
Ngggggg, yes. Also, hair-stroking, because it looks all soft and tously.
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And then took it power-sliding and hardcore off round the
test trackpaddock; brought his HORSIE around and gunned straight for Guy so he could brake at the last second, let go of the reins and give Guy the biggest, snoggiest hug IN THE WORLD.And Guy was probably like that: "!!! O.O Marian never did this..."
I WAS ABOUT TO SAY! I have TWO WEEKS in which to cling to my delusions, and my delusions involve sleepy!Allan and possibly sharing bunks. TWO WEEKS! NO LESS!
DON'T CLING ALONE! *clings with* I've faced reality that in 2 weeks' time Allan's going to get pegged out to dry like a woobilicious apricot. All of my delusions involve Guy swooping and nursing and "rewarding" and Allan making 'a bit off-colour' look good via the medium of dozing the day away in nowt but a gold and silver-stitched damask sheet. Because evil + decadence + pretteh = FTW!!
Ngggggg, yes. Also, hair-stroking, because it looks all soft and tously.
I think the hair-stroking goes both ways. I mean, dear GOD, Guy has some seriously soft and tousle-worthy hair days too, y'know? O.o
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Awww! And walked around all "Bweee!" for days afterwards. (Marian: "Why are you so happy?" Allan "HORSIE! :D")
And Guy was probably like that: "!!! O.O Marian never did this..."
Awww, yes! And unsure of what to do with himself, because snogging he knows, but hugging is ... new.
All of my delusions involve Guy swooping and nursing and "rewarding" and Allan making 'a bit off-colour' look good via the medium of dozing the day away in nowt but a gold and silver-stitched damask sheet. Because evil + decadence + pretteh = FTW!!
Mpf. Yes. Allan wakes up in a bed with silk sheets, and there's Guy hovering over him all "Oh, good, you're awake! :D"
I think the hair-stroking goes both ways. I mean, dear GOD, Guy has some seriously soft and tousle-worthy hair days too, y'know? O.o
This is very true. Hair-stroking for all!
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And Guy kept getting dragged into alcoves off the main castle cloister and corridors for "Bweee! HORSIE!! :-D" Thank-You-Sex for at least a week. (Marian: "And why are you so happy?" Guy: "horsie. *post-coital-melt*")
Awww, yes! And unsure of what to do with himself, because snogging he knows, but hugging is ... new.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! This is SO TRUE. Guy needs lessons in non-penetrative ways of saying 'I like you LOADS'. I bet his first lesson was riding pillion on the back of Allan's horsie. *nodnod*
Mpf. Yes. Allan wakes up in a bed with silk sheets, and there's Guy hovering over him all "Oh, good, you're awake! :D"
Bed? Dude, fer srs, we're talking mediaeval well-heeled bedouin here - appallingly soft mattress of goat and sheepskins with a mixture of matching pillows and satin n' silk cushions, possibly a cashmere blanket or two, damask sheets... Basically anything and everything that can be traded or nicked from Far Eastern traders. ^_^ Add one nekkid, dozing, still a bit heat-stroke affected Allan in the middle of it and Guy won't be saying ANYTHING because Guy's mouth will be otherwise occupied. *nodnod* Mainly doing Things That Should Be Illegal to a fresh fig.
Frankly the image of Guy feeding dozy!heatstroke!Allan juicy grapes and slices of apricot between snogs is really TOO NICE not to mention. As fruit-related porny images goes this is really one up on my usual thought of Token Waterfalls and interesting ways to crush raspberries and lick the juice up. *nodnod* Now that's what I call a worthy digression...
This is very true. Hair-stroking for all!
HURRAH! I'm all for anything that'd reduce Guy n' Allan to a purring heap of human!Tribble bliss. *nodnod*
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Ahahah! And then she goes to the Forest to meet Robin, except he's busy trying to placate Much, who is VERY PUT OUT that he never got a horsie. ("John at least got me a goose, what did you get me? Apart from punched by your crazy ex, I mean?") and then she has to go join a convent or the Crusadses or something because all the men in her life are twelve.
Poor Marian. Hee.
(Or she could just give in and make a daisy-crown for Guy. Because that would amuse me greatly. :D)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! This is SO TRUE. Guy needs lessons in non-penetrative ways of saying 'I like you LOADS'. I bet his first lesson was riding pillion on the back of Allan's horsie. *nodnod*
Awwwww! I bet he wouldn't know where to put his hands during a hug, either. Because they'd normally go straight for the arse, but that seems rude, somehow.
(Okay, now I'm imagining Allan teaching Guy how to woe Marian without scaring her off. "You can't just barge into her room like that, mate, you have to knock first. and get her some flowers every once in a while." And then, of course, Guy has to practice on Allan. :D )
Mpf. Yes. Allan wakes up in a bed with silk sheets, and there's Guy hovering over him all "Oh, good, you're awake! :D"
HURRAH! I'm all for anything that'd reduce Guy n' Allan to a purring heap of human!Tribble bliss. *nodnod*
For reasons unknown even to me, that gave me an image of Allan with morning hair. Mussy! Awww!
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And Robin's torn between horsie-fumage and soothing Much ("Didn't I give you my waistcoat, Much? *anvil-sized 'we're SO having sex' hint* My waistcoat??"), so Marian backs away sloooowly and goes to talk to Djaq ("So, you are saying Guy's gift of a horsie has driven them both insane?"), but Will overhears ("Horsie... *emo!teardrop*") cue Marian & Djaq grabbing all the men in their lives by the throat and screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HORSIE THING?!"
And all the boys go "BWEEEEEEEEEEE HORSIE! *_*" then cry if they haven't got one.
and then she has to go join a convent or the Crusadses or something because all the men in her life are twelve. Poor Marian. Hee.
I think Djaq'd advise the convent 'cause Crusade? The siege of Acre was broken by 50,000 men shreiking "HORRRRRRSIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" excitedly and bouncing around.
(Or she could just give in and make a daisy-crown for Guy. Because that would amuse me greatly. :D)
(Oh crap, now I want to filk: SPRRRRRRRRINGTIME for Vayseyyyyy in Nottinghaaaaaam! It's either that or face up to the adorkability overload of Allan Randomly Asleep on a meadow haystack while Guy - equipped with daisy-crown - uses a buttercup as a pitiful excuse to whisper "Mmm, butter." and licky-nibble yellow light reflections until Allan goes "Oi! Gerroff!")
Awwwww! I bet he wouldn't know where to put his hands during a hug, either. Because they'd normally go straight for the arse, but that seems rude, somehow.
Going by The Big Guy/Marian Snog of Ultimate Distraction - Guy's got an 'Oh... Hug? Umm... *big-arm-y-cling-clamp-squish*' thing going on, complete with the combination 'Overbalance Tiem Nao? Y/YyYy' move.
(Okay, now I'm imagining Allan teaching Guy how to woe Marian without scaring her off. "You can't just barge into her room like that, mate, you have to knock first. and get her some flowers every once in a while." And then, of course, Guy has to practice on Allan. :D )
(And the practices don't go too well - for Marian - as Guy n' Allan invariably end up in a nekkid heap of crushed wildflowers and honeycake crumbs, to which Allan will have to say: "Now you propose before you do that bit.")
Mpf. Yes. Allan wakes up in a bed with silk sheets, and there's Guy hovering over him all "Oh, good, you're awake! :D"
Would now be a good time to mention one of the really cool side effects of heatstroke/dehydration is perspiration overload so, those silk sheets? Will be clinging very interestingly and there will be sheening and trickling and... You're right, Guy'd be all "Oh, good, you're awake! :D" if he's capable of saying more than "BWEEE! ALLANSIE! :D" before pouncing.
For reasons unknown even to me, that gave me an image of Allan with morning hair. Mussy! Awww!
I... Ah, oh... You HAD to say 'Allan with morning hair', didn't you? That makes my brain jump to 'Allan doesn't DO mornings' and the mental picture of quilted PJs and him almost falling asleep in his porridge.
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And Robin is blissfully ignorant of the entire thing. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when someone lets it slip that Marian was almost hanged...
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Marian'll likely tell him, because there's no other way Allan'll be back with the Outlaws by next week. Even saving Will wouldn't make Robin forgive that fast!
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Ahahaha! Oh god, yes. "Wait, what?" "Look, forget I said anything!" "You went and did something stupid even though I told you not to, didn't you?" "... 'No'?"
And Robin and Guy in the pub continues to be made of win. And seriously, I think Allan can come and keep them company, too. ("I told her to just leave, she'd have been fine if she'd listened to me. But no. Not Marian. Gah.")
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*goes off to mourn her OTP*