Today's TV commentary ...

[bubosquared]

Let's try a new way of formatting, shall we?

• Aaaand once again Wayne Rooney isn't singing along to the national anthem. Now I'm curious as to why.
• *nailbites* Please don't let this be a repeat of Euro 2004.
• Wah, Michael Owen isn't in the lineup! *pouts* And neither is Peter Crouch, dammit.
• Aw, Becks peptalking his team. And that Christiano Ronaldo bloke isn't bad-looking, is he? Hm.
• ROONEYYYY--crap.
• Hee, I love the BBC commentator(s?): In the red corner, slightly off burgundy in truth, isthe Brazilian Gene Hackman lookalike who used to go by the nameFelipao. "Who are you calling Felipao?" Scolari recently asked ajournalist from his homeland. "No one calls me Felipao any more. HereI'm either Scolari or Big Phil." Big Phil it is then.
• Also: Portugal is England's oldest ally dating back to the Treaty of Windsor which was signed in 1386 [...]. History geekery yaye!
• OI! No hurting Ashley Cole, I like him! *shakes fist* Come on, Becks, do your thing and take advantage of this free kick! GAH!
• STEVIEEEE! Aw, dammmit.
• ROONEEEEEY! Damn! Still, if they keep playing like this, it'll have to go in some time.
• No no NOOOO--Oh thank fuck.
• ... I think I just had a Christiano Ronaldo/Owen Hargreaves moment. Right then. I'll ... be over there, shall I?
• I have no idea what just happened there, or who was involved, but it looked like a freaking dance. I love this game sometimes.
• AKSDHFSJDFHUWER!!!!!!!!!!! oh hi, no, i'm okay, just ten years off my life, nothing to worry about.
• AAAUG--thank you, whoever that was. Now can we please get the ball back over to the other side of the field?
• What's going on with the Portugal coach being told to sod back off to his dugout by the ref? o_O
• Er: [Wayne Rooney's] Manchester United team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo looks to be suffering no ill-effects from his thigh injury." (Phil McNulty, BBC Sport in Gelsenkirchen) Thigh injury, eh?
• Come on, boys!
• GO ON LAMPARD! Fucksticks.
• Ahahahaha! BBC TV commentators are also love:

  Commentator One: I was just looking at the referee there, because he's been very pernickety about England tackles so far.
  Commentator Two: Hey, that's my word.
  Commentator One: Sorry.

• OWwwwww, that looked painful. No no, please don't let John Terry be injured out, he needs to stay in or our defence will be totally shot! Nooooo, fucking yellow card, now he's gone for next match! *kicks things*
• Hey, it's Sol Campbell! Yaye! I was starting to think he'd retired or something, barely seen him this season.
• For the love of god, will someone score already?
• Man, these web commentators really like the Portugese coach: Big Phil prowls the touchline with menace. England playwith patience deep in their own half. Svennis sits statuesque in thedug out.
• COME ON JOE! Oh yes, let's pass to the other team, WTF.
• BECKS! Aw, crap. Sloppy finishing there, guys, you can do better.
• Ouch! Okay, that looked painful, but so not on purpose, and not deserving a free kick. Bastards.
• No! alkjlaksdRIGHT THEN!
• Come on Cole²! Aw, dammit.
• Come ooooon Becks, you can do this! Get us a goal before half-time!
• OI! FOUL! Damn right!
• Aaand another free kick, come ooooooon ... Damn!
• LAMPARD! FUCKIN' 'ELL!

Excuse me, I need to go have a drink and calm down. Gah.

Sob:

• "Ronaldo is cheating on Neville," the hell? *eyes TV funnily*
• I love it when the England supporters belt out the anthem. It really is meant to be belted, unlike, say, the Belgian one. (Sigh.)
• Come on, guys, let's actually get somewhere now. No penalty kickouts, please.
• No no no, don't take Becks off! *flails*
• Come on, score damn you all!
• Nooooooooooooooo! *wails* Beeeecks!
• Awwwww, Becks looking all sad and pained in the dugout. :( I do hope he won't be out for more than one match. *worries*
• Come on, damn you all!
• Oh, stop being a drama queen. Ha! Told off by the ref for drama queenery. IN YOUR FACE! Er, no pun intended. :D
• GO JOE--for the LOVE of FUCK!
• NO! Gnaaaah okay, I'm good.
• ... What the hell is going on there? NO FUCK YOU ALL RED CARD AUGH WE ARE SO DOOMED! ROONEY YOU MORON! And Becks is NOT pleased. Sweetie, sit down before they card you, too.
• Oh, now they're bringing Crouch in? Fucking hell, Sven! And WTF taking Joe Cole off? ARGH! *tears hair out*
• SOMEBODY STOP THAT BALL!
• Come on LENNON!
• GAAA--Thank you, Gary Neville!
• GO STEVIE! CROUCH! FUCK!
• We are so fucking doomed. Doomed. *nailbites* Fifteen minutes till the end of normal time and still nil-nil. I'm not sure I can take much more of this.
• *makes incoherent noises of panic* WILL YOU LOT GET THAT BALL OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE!
• laksjdlkasjdBWAHAHAHA! Portugal just smashed their own already-injured player in the face. NICE ONE! And we're up to ten against ten for the moment.
• GO ON COLE!
• And another Portugal player down, what the hell?
• Oi, somebody break that fight up before we get another red card!
• Waaaaa--thank fuck, Robinson does his job for once.
• Becks: still looking miserable an awwww. :(
• Come on, Lampard, please pretty please ... GO ON! LENNON! Nooooooooo dammit!
• WTF booing?
• Five minutes of normal time left ...
• Heeee:

  TV Commentator One: I don't want to send out bad signals, but Helder Postiga scored in the quarter finals two years ago.
  TV Commentator Two: You just have.

• LENNON! *hyperventilates*
• DO NOT LET THEM SCORE NOW DAMMIT!
• "Not sure I can stand another half hour of this." You are not alone, TV Commentator Bloke.
• Hee, TV Commentator Bloke just compared Crouch to "A big old Redwood."
• LENNON! Gah.
• Awww, the TV commentators are all about the supporter-love. Bless.
• OH GO ON GO ON GO OOOOOOOON oh fuck it ALL!
• Man, Crouch is really trying out there.
• GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--dkla;sdka;sdka;lsdkandjkjsdlfjMAKE IT STOP!
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OH THANK GOD OFFSIDE!
• What the hell was that half-hearted kicking the ball out?
• GNAAAAH STOP THAT BALL!
• If Portugal score in the last minut--NOOOOthankfuck.
• (Dear Parents, Or Whoever Just Tried To Call Me: I am unavailable on matchdays, kthx.)
• Aaaand we're onto penalties. SO DOOMED!
• ... Who chose to play Que Sera, Sera? Great, now I'm crying.
• I love how both teams are all hanging all over each other while waiting to take penalties.
• Oh please Robinson please please I swear if you catch these I'll never rag on you again. AUGH! I'm just gonna hide behind the couch now.
• NOT FUCKING AGAIN! THIS IS FUCKING EURO 2004 ALL OVER AGAIN! FUCKERS!

Excuse me while I sulk off for a bit ...

	Creative Supportering Now that's dedication to your team, heh.
	You've Got A Purdy Mouth ... Christiano Ronaldo: utter drama queen bastard, but a pretty one.
	Bend It Like ... Ronaldo? Also, bendy. Gah.
	Let's Go! Becks does his pep-thing with the team as they go on field.
	Aw, Stevie I have no idea what's going on here, but Steven Gerrard looks very cute.
	Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, it's Wayne Rooney!
	Aw! Gary Neville comforts Becks as he walks off the field. Awwwwww.
	Sob! Becks sits around being miserable as the game goes on without him. Will someone hug him, please?
	GodDAMmit! In which Wayne Rooney earns himself a red card, and then I swore a lot.
	Nooooooooooooooooooooo! *wails* And then my heart stopped for several moments.
	Er ... Becks? The traditional way of comforting/cheering up is by patting someone on the shoulder. You've been hanging around with Micheal Owen too long, haven't you?
	More Sob. Hug. Him. Dammit!
	Sob Squared And again. MICKEY WHERE ARE YOU?
	Heeee! Peter Crouch does some fancy bending. Heee.
	Sandwhich, Pete? This picture is mainly here to show exactly how skinny Peter Crouch is, yes.
	Pettings Becks pets Owen Hargreaves, nawwww.
	And Yet More Of That Becks broke me this match, god.
	They Think It's All Over You can't really see it in this picture, but Rio Ferdinand? Is crying. And made me cry, the bastard.

OMGWTFDrWho:

• Wait, what the hell, how was that a full episode already? *flails* CLIFFHANGER EVIL!
• But oh, Mickey, I totally squealed when he turned up. And he's all competent and cool and looking mighty hot in that jumper.
• "It's good to see you." "Yeah, good to see you too," and Rose's face, and oh, I don't hate Rose, but I'm glad he's over her now.
• Man, how hot does Jake look in next week's preview? Guh.

Is it next week yet?

And finally, something more cheerful:

• Okay, the ITV commentator is totally in love with Zidane. With the waxing lyrical and yes.
• HENRY! OMG, YES, COME ON! Now don't concede that goal!
• Man, I'd completely forgotten how much I love watching Barthez in action. I do love me my goalies. (Clearly, like Riikka, I am Becks. Heh.)
• Oh, come on, is stoppage time over yet? *NAILBITES LIKE WHOA*
• YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! BRAZIL IS OUT! GO FRANCE! SO MUCH FUCKING LOVE! I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED YOU GUYS BACK WHEN! WHEEEEEEE!

*parties like it's 1998* :D

Comments

[flabbergast.livejournal.com]

I think I just had a Christiano Ronaldo/Owen Hargreaves moment
...you're not the only one. But Cristiano Ronaldo is still a drama queen and I hate him. Also, I [heart] your commentators! The one on Finnish tv keeps criticizing England.

Gah. My heart can't take this.

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

But he's pretty! And pets people's legs, apparently. (I have not nearly a much hate for him as I do for his namesake from Brazil.)

Are you on IM by chance?

[flabbergast.livejournal.com]

Yes, v. pretty. And yeah, definitely not as much hate as for the Brazilian Ronaldo. Ugh.

And dude, I can't be in front of the computer when I'm actually watching the game. Heh. [runs away from the computer]

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

THEY TOOK BECKS OFF THE FIELD WAH NOOOOO!

[flabbergast.livejournal.com]

...wait, there are pictures in this entry now! And omg, why won't you people stop posting übersad pictures of Becks? And Rio? Wah.

Also, Becks patting Mr. Stamping-on-people's-testicles on the ass = amusing. Speaking of Wayne, wow, is it going to be awkward at Man. United if Cristiano Ronaldo is still there next season.