Friendship

[bubosquared]

Apparently, for a lot of people, being a good friend means fighting your friends' fights for them. I don't quite get that.

I remember in elementary school, whenever people'd have a fight, they'd go around asking the rest of the class whose side they were on. I remember my usual answer would be "I'm not on anyone's side," and of course, people wouldn't understand that, wouldn't understand that their fight is not my fight, especially because usually, the people fighting were both as much my friends [or not] and the issue so petty and personal I really wouldn't know who was 'right'.I usually ended up siding with the 'underdog' on general principle.

These days, the people I consider my friends don't ask me to pick sides. And I don't. When I notice someone 'bashing' my friend[s], I will alert them to this, and then it's really up to them to react or not. If they do, I will follow the conversation, sometimes jump in to correct a fact or clarify what my friends are trying to say, or whatnot, but if they don't, then why should I?

I think 'defending' your friends is generally a bad idea. First of all, you will inevitably have to assume certain things about your friend and their relationship to the person 'bashing' them. Secondly, if your friends don't feel the need to defend themselves, is it really worth your time to do that for them?

Opinoins, anyone? Do you defend your friends? Why? Why not?

Comments

[katari.livejournal.com]

I'm the first to admit that I'm a bitch, but I am a loyal bitch. If you're my friend, I will go to the mat for you if I need to.

If I need to.

Personally, I think that if someone is capable of defending themselves, needs to defend themselves, it should be up to them to defend themselves. If they ask me to join in, I'll take a look at what's going on. If I see anything I feel the need to comment on, I'll do that. If I see where someone missed the point of a statement, I'll point it out. Other than that, I try not to get involved.

I never said I succeeded.

[ex-dragones.livejournal.com]

You're starting to type like Ant. No, that's not a bad thing. :)

[rigour.livejournal.com]

[ex-dragones.livejournal.com]

If one of my friends is trying to defend themself and can't, I'll help them out. In other words, I've got their back. If they aren't trying to defend themself, I won't do it for them, because they obviously don't think the argument is worth their time.

However, if two of my friends are fighting I WILL NOT get in the middle. I've done it before and as a result almost lost two of the closest friends I've had.