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Wow
So my mum bought me this scarab-shaped pocket watch thingie for Saint Nicholas, and I accidentally washed it today. Took my load of all-black laundry out, found the watch, freaked ... and then noticed the damn thing was still running. Washed, spin cycled, and it's still ticking along. I am in awe of your resilientness, little scarab watch.
Mind Control Waves From Wisconsin
A copy of Master and Commander has mysteriously appeared in my flat. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) I guess I'll be watching homoerotic sailors tomorrow. The hardship! Woe!
Am Besieged By Bunnies. Send Help.
So I'm reading this book called Rubicon, by Tom Holland, about the glory days and the downfall of the Roman Republic, and it's a really good book, definitely something to pick up if you're interested in this sort of thing. Tom Holland's style reminds me of my favourite history teacher's: he relates history as a story, rather than as a series of facts, and he's actually managed to make me giggle out loud with some of his phrasings.
Not only does he refer to one of Cicero's speeches as "Cicero could nevertheless bitch that [...]" and maybe that's only deeply amusing and gratifying when you've spent an entire year trying to translate the bastard's speeches, but I personally did the fist-pumping thing at that. Also: "While Pompey lorded it over the East, the man he had replaced indulged himself in the most flamboyant sulk in history." Bwahahaha!
It's also very nice and heavy, and hardback, which comes in handy when Mr Holland so nicely mentions all the scandals involving homosexuality and you start getting all OTP-y. Of course, me being me, do I pick as my OTP one of the near-canonical couples like Mark Anthony and Scipio, or something involving Julius Caesar, manslut of Rome (no, seriously)? No, I go and OTP Pompey/Crassus. That's right, the golden boy and his arch rival. Excuse me for a moment ...
*whacks self in the face with book*
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHA--* OW! Ack! Nonono, no bunnies on my ankles! *frantically attempts to squish bunny with book*
Bunny: *is undaunted, attempts to morph into Pompey/Crassus/Caesar bunny*
Aieeeee! *flees*
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But GN'R! Spill!
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Hm. Axl as Caesar, perhaps. The man was the Slut of Rome. (Seriously. Apparently, he's rumoured to've slept his way at least partway to the top, and for a large part of his life basically fucked anything that moved. I find this amusing for some reason. Why did they never mention this in my six years of Latin? I would've paid a lot more attention then!)
Oh! Or how about Duff as Caesar and Axl and Slash as Crassus and Pompey, because they HATED each other, but were forced to work together and play nice in public because of the triumvirate, and that just creates all sorts of delicious possibilities for "I hate you! *push, punch, grope*" sex. And Caesar!Duff can try and um. "Intermediate." By which of course I mean threesome.
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Um, YES. Because let's face it, there's so much potential for violent sex with those three. Mmm. And y'know, Duff might be a sweet guy who basically gets along with everyone, but eventually he'd get tired of Slash and Axl constantly being at each other's throats, so all of a sudden he's got Slash pressed against the wall and is all "shut the FUCK up" and Slash is completely caught off guard 'cause hello, this is Duff, and at this point I realize that I completely forgot about Axl, but, um. He could then be like "what the fuck's YOUR problem?" to Duff, and then? Threesome.
Ahahaha. And yeah, that could all be done with Caesar, Crassus and Pompey, and mmm, hot. *fans self*
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And hm, that'd work better with normal day Slash and Duff because ROWR!
Will pretend not to think about Crassus and Pompey and Caesar and shoving and roughing up and fucking and feckin' hell I'm so doomed.
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It's a kink that's easier to indulge in in metallica fandom, because most of the GnRers look like I could break 'em in half, whereas James Hetfield? The man
It's a kink that's easier to indulge in in metallica fandom, because most of the GnRers look like <em>I</em> could break 'em in half, whereas James Hetfield? The man <as <em>made</em> to shove people against the nearest convenientvertical surface and ravage them.
But mmm, Duff losing his temper, and he's snarling and it takes Slash's brain a few seconds to catch up with what just happened, because one moment he's just bitching to Duff about Axl and he was just getting <em>really</em> creative with the threats of what he was going to do to Axl if he showed up falling down drunk for a sound check again, and now he's pinned against the wall and noticing, <em>really</em> noticing for once, how much taller Duff is.
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And yes, seriously. Slash, at least, is so thin that I could probably take him even though I'm the tiniest person ever. Duff and Axl are much more intimidating that way.
And ooooooh, the fact that Duff is much taller than Slash! And so obviously has the upper hand if and when things get physical, in more ways than one. It's even better 'cause Slash is used to Duff being mild-tempered and the peacemaker, so when Duff finally loses it, Slash is starting to realize that he has no idea what he's dealing with. And the thought just turns him on even more.
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Dude, even Duff, who is way taller than I am (and this is excpetional; I'm taller than half of Metallica, most of *NSync, and possibly all of U2) looks like I could carry him under one arm. Skinny motherfuckers, all of 'em.
I think Duff would be the kind of person who you'd have to push really hard to anger, but once you've pushed too far, they go into this sort of ... quiet, cold, almost calculated anger. Which kinda freaks Slash out cause he's used to his and Axl's screaming matches, you know, very loud, lots of "fuck"s, doors slamming, plates flying, but Duff just pins him against the wall and ... just looks at him and it's sending chills down his spine, and he's not sure if it's fear or something else.
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:D
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Also, it's POMPEY! And CRASSUS! And Pompey used to be such a pretty boy and he's trying to hold on to that and then they have to play nice cause they're triumvirs and BWEEEEE!
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Now be a good girl and read some Harry Potter... come on now... Read it.... :)
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poor severus...
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was it a lactating story?
have I just made it worse?
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