(no subject)

[bubosquared]

20. Must not taunt the French any more.
22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I did bring enough for everybody.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
129. The Microsoft ® ‘Dancing Paperclip’ is not authorized to countermand any orders.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
158. The revolution is not now.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
197. I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.
206. Not allowed to get shot.
(213 Thing Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The US Army)

- Yeah, actually, if the people being slashed are alive IRL, but dead in the story, is that okay?
- No, Melle, don't encourage those people who write vamp!RPS...
- Nothing wrong with vamp!RPS ...
- *remembers really bad Vamp!Sync found when first in fandom* *covers eyes* I like my RPS semi-realistic, thank you!
- I like my RPS with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
(Melle, Molly; LJ comments)

You'd like Axl more if you'd seen the 'Welcome To The Jungle' video. I still think he's a horrible, homophobic, whiny little bitch - but he's a horrible, homophobic, whiny little bitch with hips that do some obscenely sexy things.
(Zarya)

I am Jedi!banana!
(Amy; LJ comment)

Welcome to the Sunday morning 404s.
(LJ status message)

Hundreds of trained monkeys are currently trying to find your search results.
(LJ)

David Seaman broke down in tears as he apologised to the nation after his mistake against Brazil sent England crashing out of the World Cup.
[...]
England skipper David Beckham backed his keeper as he said: "If anyone makes a scapegoat out of David after that it will be an absolute disgrace.
(BBC site. Argh.)

When she was promoting her first solo single, she told a radio interviewer how her husband enjoyed flirting with other men and loved being a gay icon. 'He walks around the kitchen going, "I'm a gay icon, I'm a gay icon." When I say, "So am I," he just goes, "But they love me. You've got nothing on me."
(From Posh&Becks. Again, argh.)

Open Letter to Rachel and Snake : Dammit! Stop being all in WUV and shit.
(Ang; AIM)

Beth: God. I'm so obsessed with the Justin!goat now. It's your fault, too, for encouraging the madness.
Melle: Ahahahahahaha!
Beth: *laughs*
Melle: I AM THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF JUSTIN, THE GOAT GOD! BOW BEFORE ME!
Beth: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Beth: Dude, you did NOT.
Melle: Didn't what?
Beth: I don't know. Say that. It was just. Reallyreally funny. And. I don't know.
Melle: BOW, MORTAL! BOW BEFORE YOUR GOA- er, GOD!
Beth: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! *bows down*
Melle: Bless you, child.
Beth: Oh! I've been blessed by the Goat-God! I feel truly, truly honored. And, now. Now, I will go out and do great things! Raise GOATS! On a farm. With many different varieties of goat. Long-horned, mountain, and even milk! There will be goat cheese made from my blessed goats' milk! And. Oh. Greatness. My goat farm will acheive greatness!
(AIM madness)

Beth: I love Eminem. Love him. So much. I amaze myself with the massive amount of love I hold for this would-be-offensive (but really just lovable, cuddle-able, and lick-able) young man.
Auto response from Melle: It is my firm belief that Europeans just don't need to sleep. (Ang, IRC)
In bed. Message?
Beth: I blame you.
Beth: I would blame, you know. Like, uh... 'NSyncgrrl, because she inspired my first twinges of love.
Beth: But you. I dont' know. I'm not sure why. But I do, I blame you entirely. I'm sure there's some logic to it. But I'm not sure. There might not me.
Beth: You may, in fact, have become my default scapegoat. This doesn't bother me, or course.
Beth: It won't bother you, either. Because you're a contrary bitch like that!
Beth: Of course, maybe it shouldn't bother you. Because, you know, you could translate "blame" into "thank." But. I'd rather blame. Yes yes. Makes my life so much easier.
Beth: Blame Canada? Why, no. I blame 'Melle.v Beth: *sings* Blame 'Me-e-e-ellleeeee!!!!!!!!!
Beth: Um, right. I think bed now.
Beth: And it occurs to me that, technically, I just sang that. And this. Because I never indicated a cease-sing. So. *stops singing* Bed now. Yes.
(More AIM madness)

Now I'm writing Cure fic (!) in which Robert and Simon fight (!!) and have violent sex (!!!) on tour busses (!!!!) and in dressing rooms (!!!!!). See? I am twisted! (And using too many exclamation points!)
(Twi)

Deep fandom thought: if you had Orlando Bloom's body for a day, what would YOU do? (I'd sleep on my stomach.)
(Wax Jism)

[I]t bugged the spork out of me[.]
(Alice; LJ comment)

In other news, somebody kick me in the ass and make me do actual work now? Ta

Comments

[huberttheturtle.livejournal.com]

Nothing to do with the actual entry, but.

EEEEEEEE. I lerrrrrrrrrve your new garfield icons!

:]

[loves]