OMG OMG OMG I HAVE OOTP!!!

Note: Originally posted in my on-site blog, reposted here for consistency.

Elfie and I are tag-team reading OotP, three chapters at a time, so I'll be updating in here every time I'm done with a new batch.

SPOILERS, but then anyone reading this will already have read the book, I suspect.

Chapters 1-3
I may or may not have done a little dance when Mrs Figg showed up. I may or may not have snickered in glee at her "Good god, boy, they told me you were smart," because heee! Harry is a very stupid boy. Um, yes. Also, very angry and a bit rebellious, it seems, and mmmmm. And I already like Tork.

Chapters 4-6
OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD!
PERCY! With the! And the! And he! I FUCKING TOLD YOU FUCKERS SO! HA!

Okay, now that that's out of my system, HOW much do I love the family tree stuff? <3! And the TWINS! I LOVE THEM SO!

And BILL and FLEUR! And she's back to STUDY ENGLISH and OMG HOW MUCH OF A FANFIC IS THIS sqjfqjdq

ETA: And dude, how cute is Ginny? Answer: VERY cute! She's past the fangirling-Harry stage, and she's turning into Fred&George, the female version. (Mmmm, Fred/George/Ginny.)

Chapters 7-9
Oh, wibble. I actually felt sorry for Harry during the hearing, and VERY PISSED OFF at Fudge and the Ministry. (Also, Madame Bones = related to Susan Bones, I'm assuming?) But Eeeee! RON IS A PREFECT! AND HERMIONE! THEIRLOVEISSOHIGHSCHOOL!

Chapters 10-12
Ooohhhhh, man, I'm already very annoyed at the DADA teacher, and GODDAMMIT SEAMUS! V shall be very displeased. But Neville is cute, and so's Dean. And RON! And HERMIONE! ARGUING! <3! And the Sorting Hat encouraging inter-hourse friendships and YES THERE SHOULD BE MORE OF THOSE! And eeee! TWO mentions of Lee! I may or may not have squeaked loudly at those, because Melle = a dork, yes.

Chapters 13-15
Aaand Hermione layeth the SMACKDOWn! Woo! I love her. And Ron! And he's being all admiring towards Hermione when she can remember whole parts of people's speeches! And EVIL PERCY! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU LOT!

ETA: (because I'm an aidheaded dolt) The whole I will not tell lies thing creeps me out, but not as much as Sirius is doing. Ow, dude, "James would've"? Fuck that, Molly's right, you're forgetting Harry isn't James! And he doesn't want to risk seeing you in jail and you're trying to make him feel guilty for it? Ow!

ETA: HOW COULD I FORGET THIS? When Cho talks to him in the owlery Harry "feels like he's floating"! It's the Amazing Floating Harry! It's in-my-head!Harry! WHEEEEEE!!!

Chapters 16-18
Dude, I <3 Ron and his LAYING THE SMACKDOWN for Harry. And the twins, too! Yay for not being picky on where they stick things! Anc Cho! Cho+Harry4EVAH, man. (Yeah, I know, but dude, how likely is it that Harry and Draco would end up together in the actual books? Answer: not very.) And on a slightly LN-related note, Susan Bones is very nice and bubbly! I love her!

Chapters 19-21
Oh. Oh. OH! OH THAT BITCH! SHE BANNED THE TWINS! (Yes, and Harry, but THE TWINS!) But KISSING IS WET! And Ron has the emotional depth of a teaspoon! RON+HERMIONE4EVAH!!!!

Chapter 22-24
Oh. Oh. Mr Weasley! Wibble! And Snape poking around in Harry's head! And WIBBLE! And ARGH am I done yet so I can go and read people's thoughts about the book?

ETA: And um. I <3 Ginny! With the pointed comment about being possessed by Voldemort!

Chapters 25-28
I'm going into the home stretch now, but I just wanted to note that THIS UMBRIDGE WOMAN MUST DIE! DIE! DIE! She hurt Lee, damit, SHE DIES! *swings big-ass sword* COME HERE AND DIE LIKE A WITCH!

Finished:
Um. Oh. Yes. Fuck. Man. *flails* Didn't cry, but nearly did, and wibble, and mostly because I was too ... something about finding out what the prohecy was, and OH MY GOD THIS SO TOTALLY MESHES WITH MY DESTINY BUNNY and FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A VERY DULL SPOON but I seem to be channeling JKR or something.

And also, my predictions where:

1. Romance: There will be at least hints of Ron/Hermione! (4EVA!!1!11) I'm a staunch believer, dammit, and I'll stay one until irrevokably proven wrong.
Ooooh, yesyesyes, I SO TOTALLY CALLED THAT ONE!

2. Death: Everyone's putting their money on Hagrid, and I admit it's a good choice, but ... I don't know, gut instinct says no. One of the Weasleys could be possible, but not Ron, because, well, see #1. Who, then? I don't know. Dean or Seamus, or possibly Neville, but there's untied strings in Neville's story, which makes me disinclined to believe it's him.
Could not have been more off-track with this one. I really wasn't expecting this.

3. DADA: Purely rationally, I'd have to go with Mrs Figg (which I just typed Mrs Filch--paging Dr Freud much?). Irrationally, I can't help but officialise the "call" I made in a private e-mail to Ruth, namely that the new DADA teacher will be Harry's Mysteriously Missing Godmother, or maybe a member of James's family.
Argh, man, SO OFF TRACK with this one. And Sirius mentioned James's parents and Harry STILL didn't ask about them, WTF, man?

4. Weasleys: Percy will have learned a valuable lesson from the Crouch Incident, and become a bit more ... well, mellow, and less attached to burocracy, or he'll (eventually, probably not yet in this book, though there might be signs) go the other way and sort of vaguely wander evil-wards. The Twins will be graduating, which I fear will cause no end of rants and anger from Molly as they pursue their goal of opening a joke-shop. Ginny will get over her crush on Harry and date Neville. Charlie and Bill will still be suspiciously girlfriend-less. *cough*
Already mentioned this, but it bears reiterating: I SO TOTALLY CALLED THE PERCY THING, MAN! HA! The Twins didn't graduate, and Molly didn't seem to be too upset with them in the end, so that one didn't fly, but eeee, Ginny! Though I was wrong about who she'd be dating. And Bill and Fleur hints! (Fleur returning to the UK to learn the language--HOW FUCKING FANON IS THAT MAN?)

5. Other: There will be just enough Lee to whet my appetite, but not by far enough to satisfy me. Sigh.
Actually, there was a fair amount of Lee in it, but still not enough for me, no. AND THAT UMBRIDGE WOMAN HURT MY BOY I WILL MURDER HER FOR THIS I WILL!

That's all, folks. I'll be off reading other people's thoughts on the book now.