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So I just stretched my arms above my head, and as I lowered them again only just avoided screaming with pain. WTF? What happaned to my shoulder? I thought I was doing great. Fucker.
My inner fangirl wants to run amok in my living room! No, self, no putting up posters. No!
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You must all go read this. Cause it's throughtful and good and resonates with me on a very basic level. And, um, ignore the fourth paragraph.
Things You Can't Say
even though your gay friends can
Sure, it seems unfair that they can call each other queers, fags, dykes, etc. without giving offense, whereas if you open a conversation with "I saw the most beautiful fag walking down the boulevard yesterday" the temperature in the room will immediately plummet and the chances are excellent that the next words you speak will be either, "Look at the time, I must be going" or "Please do not hold that red-hot branding iron against my flesh." But life isn't fair, and that's our point. If it were, we wouldn't have to worry about any of this.When a gay person uses a term like "queer" to refer to another gay person, everyone understands that it is not meant unkindly, because within the community the meaning of that term has been changed by mutual consent. This happens all the time within minority groups and members of those groups understand the process. Here's how it works:
And here you have the crux of the matter: same word, two different meanings, depending on the context. When the word is used from one gay person to another, it means something good. When it is used from a straight person to a gay one, it means something bad.
- Heterosexuals, believing that homosexuality is something inherently perverse and bizarre, refer to them as "queer," meaning "like, totally weird, I mean, yucko."
- Homosexual persons take offense at this, knowing that they are not inherently any weirder than heterosexual persons, and dislike having this term applied to them because it is belittling, alienating, and inaccurate.
- Over time, however, homosexuals begin to realize that if your standard of normalcy is the average heterosexual American, well, being weird is actually a good thing. They begin to think of themselves as, indeed, queer, and proud of it. Thus, when they use the word "queer" to describe themselves, they do not mean "perverted and sick," they mean "interesting and cool."
(From The Plaid Adder's The Straight Person's Guide to Gay Etiquette, Chapter Five)
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