Hair

Dad cut my hair again today. I now have a crewcut, except for my bangs. I'm wobbling over wether or not to bleach again (bangs are mostly white, with roots showing (cool), rest is my natural now-brownish colour (cool? uncool? wah!)) but generally loving it.

Realised I've been working up to this for a while. My hair has been progressively shorter with each haircut, going back to when I was 16, long-haired and blonde.

I look at pictures of me at 16 and find myself wondering "Who is that girl and what is she trying to hide?" Baggy clothes, long hair always either in a ponytail so tight it was nearly painful, or hanging down, hiding my face, myself.

And then the hairdresser told me she'd have to cut off a whole lot of my hair, and rather than go back to the hair length and style I had during the bullying year, I went radical and had it cropped to right beneath my ears.

People were nice. Supportive. Admiring both the new look and my 'courage' for taking such a drastic decision. I felt overwhelmed by the positive reaction to such a strong change in myself. I was happy I took a chance and removed the curtain in front of me.

Especially in the last year, I've turned into all I've ever aspired to be. Outspoken, creative, punk, unafraid of attracting attention, emphasising myself, my body, my femaleness.

I like the crewcut. It might be butch, but it makes me feel much more feminine than the long golden locks ever did.

Also

The grungeboys have eaten my brain. They've not even been in here for 24 hours and they're already lords and masters of my head. Le sigh.

So yes, more will be written.

Wooo!

I have an appartment! Go me! I rawk!

(Steve, if you see this, I don't know if you've been trying to call me, my phone's rather fucked up sometimes. Er. Would you mind terribly if I called off? I seem to be in a "Stray the fuck away from me, people" mood. LIke people being physically close to me are going to make me scream. Sorry. I'm sure I'll be betting somewhere during the week. :/)

(I'll be online, though, so. )