Sighage

This Sunday, Bon Jovi will play in Belgium. They will rock. They will be slashy. I will not be seeing them.

I wanted to go. I still do. But I've considered the pros and cons, and the cons are just way in the majority. Basically, the pros are that I love their music and that they're slashy. Yes, that's pretty much the reasons I'm going to see U2, as well. But.

It's expensive, and NY is two weeks away, and I would get home at 3AM, leaving me 3 hours of sleep. This wouldn't be a problem, except I'm exhausted as it is. I'll be chatting tonight, and tomorrow is my brothers birthday party, so I won't be in bed before 1 either. Two hour on the train and bus, followed by an hour or more outside on a muddy field, followed by 2 more hours on bus and train, followed by a 30 minutes walk home followed by 3 hours of sleep before a full and busy working day -- I tire thinking about it.

I cannot afford this so close to NY. And god, but I remember a time when I could recover a whole night's sleep in two day's. I still can, technically, it's just ... I think I've finally driven my body too far. I need to start going home earlier. I need to get in bed by eleven, midnight max. I need to clean my room and do laundry and go home for more than sleeping.

Sigh. Ignore me, people. I'm trying to recover from a minor family crisis here. I'm not as tired as I sound and feel right now.

[How am I supposed to feel about a man I've never known, even though he's my grandfather?]

(no subject)

Shouldn't check the deth bb's when I'm in this sort of mood. How do people, knowing that i'm gay and thus this is a personal issue, still accuse me of doing this to be 'PC'? Dumbasses.

I will not respond now. But I refuse to give up or give in. The point is not to convince them, the point is to speak up. Like Tammy said. :)

And in case you care

The familial crisis consisted of two parts; one major, one minor.

The major one was my mum and granddad talking for the first time in 18 years. From what mum's said, he realises what a jerk he's been in completely denying he ever had children, let alone grandchildren, and especially the whole mess about him and grandma's divorce settlement.

I know he's done horrible things to my mother and ucle, things my mum says she can never forgive him for, and yes, he's ignored me for most of my life, but I'm over that, I've forgiven him, and now I have no idea how to feel towards him. I prolly will go to se them, same as the boys, but I'm nervous about that, and I never tought I'd be. Mum told him about my hair and stuff, and says he reacted well to it -- much to her surprise. BUt ... I am more than likely going to end up telling him I'm lesbian. I've never been frightened to tell anyone that. It wasn't an issue with my parents [or at least so I tought]; I knew my grandmother, while she might have problems with it, would accept me for who and what I am ¹; I knew my brothers wouldn't care; I know my coworkers won't care much. But him, he's Catholic, and well, old, and I have no idea what his stance on this is. And yet, he's a stranger, so why the fuck to I care what he thinks of me?

The minoir part was me and my mum having an argument about my driving license. I finally put my foot down and said look, I'm not getting it, not now. I hate every inute I drive, and my driving instrcutor's fucking told me I shouldn't do this if I feel this bad about it, and that it'd cost me a fortune in driving lessons before I'd be ready to take and pass the exam. And I don't need a car or a driving license. She finally accepted it, much to my surprise. She did say I'd have to tell my dad myself, though, but hopefully he'll understand this is my life, as he did with the tatt and the labret.

Quotes: the cure for what ails ya

No, the point is not to speak up. The point is to maim them. *snicker*
(Nat; LJ comment)

I did not castrate James!
(Nette; IRC)

That made me feel a world of better. And now Ruth's going to kill me for that aweful grammar.

(no subject)

1. Just had the worst [and longest] fucking deja-vu ever.
2. I adore REM's Reveal.
3. My brother's friends are fun, and my 'ex' looks great with nail polish and kohl around his eyes.
4. I find it very hard to take techs serious when they cannot spell or punctuate worth shit.
5. I want to go swimming tomorrow.
6. I'm going to go sleep and have happy Dave/James dreams now.

Thus endeth my random annoucments for the day.