bubosquared | (no subject)

Melle: I hate my life. First the server goes down for two hours, and now we've a flipping virus and argh! And of course this is JUST when I need Excel (the affected program) for work. Excuse me while I hit my head against the nearest flat surface.
Ruth: You think that's bad. I haven't had internet access for over a week at work, partially, if not completely, because our tech guy is a fucking idiot who can't fix things and doesn't get back to anyone.
Melle: Okay, you win. *hands you a plant*
Ruth: A plant? What the hell kind of sympathy is this?
(LJ comments)

V: *draws woobie little hearts around Putin and Blair, too, just for good measure*
Melle: !!!
Melle: You are a SICK, DISTURBED woman!
V: they're SO FUCKING CUTE!!
Melle: Blair belongs with CLINTON, yo!
V: THEY WERE WALKING THROUGH THE FOREST TOGETHER!
V: THEY ARE MFEO!
Melle: WHAAA?
V: THEY ARE!
V: it was on the BBC.
V: and they have "close personal relations"
V: they are so woog.
V: Putin and Blai-ir sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Putin with the huge nuclear weapons of mass-destruction! awwwwwwwwwwwww!
Melle: q!
V: *pinches their cheeks*
V: whee!
V: but they were walking THROUGH the FOREST!
V: in sweaters and everything!
V: and Putin can be Blair's hot Russian prince!
V: except that Putin isn't hot. um.
Melle: Hot is very subjective.
Melle: I'm sure Blair finds him hot.
V: he probably does.
V: I mean, Putin WAS apparently voted sexiest man in Russia.
V: which is probably the source of that HORRIBLE HORRIBLE DREAM I had
V: they are SO CUTE
V: !!!!
V: Blair probably likes the sullen Russian look.
Melle: He WAS?
V: *dies and dies and dies at their intolerable CUTENESS*
Melle: Dude, what do they put in the vodka over there?
V: potatoes?
Melle: Potatoes make you find Putin hot?
V: no, but they make vodka out of potatoes.
V: vodka = Russia's only exportable resource.
V: ANYWAY, the POINT is that Blair and Putin are MFEO
V: !!!!!!!
Melle: *draws doobie hearts around them*
V: *gives them plants as gifts of warming of house*
V: SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!111111
V: TB <3333333333333333333 VP!!!!!!!1111
V: they are the cutest cute that ever cuted.
Melle: You know? One day, when we're both old women, I'm going to print out this log and show it to you and LAUGH IN YOUR FACE
V: BITCH!
Melle: Hey man, you can get me back about my Marcus/Lee addiction.
V: be thankful you didn't read what I said about Bush and Chretien.
Melle: ... What?
V: who are ALSO SO IN LOVE
V: CHRETIEN INVITED HIM FISHING
V: MFEO!!!!!
V: and yes. this is payback for the Marcus/Lee.
V: their love is so stupid and nonsensical!
V: AWWWWWWW
Melle: WHOSE love is stupid and nonsensical?
V: Bush and Chretien's
V: Chretien doesn't speak either national language, and Bush can almost kill himself on a PRETZEL. they haven't got too many brain cells in that relationship.
V: and yet they're still SO MFEO
Melle: AHAHAHAHAh
Melle: They're like the Quidditch Geeks. only stupider.
V: MUCH stupider.
V: but much more powerful, unfortunately.
V: *gives them stupid little plants*
V: *like cactuses, so they can't possibly kill them*
Melle: Yeah, the geeks, no matter what they may think, don't have the power to unleash the Apocalypse.
V: nah, they really don't.
V: alas!
Melle: And now I'm picturing the geeks telling Bush and Cretin to hide under their desks.
V: hahahahaha!
Melle: Except Bush is too STUPID to even do THAT!
V: but you know, if they did unleash the apocalypse, then at least they would give Blair and Putin the opportunity to ride off into the sunset on the Russian steppes.
V: provided they have sun there, which they may not.
V: Bush would hit his head on the desk on the way under and, like, pass out from the severe pain.
Melle: AHAHAHA!
Melle: Oh, god.
Melle: It just occured to me that bush and blowjobs? Disaster. He'd choke on something a bit more incriminating than a pretzel, then. Maybe THAT's what REALLY happened!
V: and Johnny-boy would have to pull him under his OWN desk and there would be a touching moment while they SHARE CHRETIEN'S DESK
V: AND HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
V: EW NO BLOWJOBS FROM BUSH EVER
V: but awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Melle: BAD BUSH! No blowjobs for YOU!
V: unless you're blowing the prime minister, in which case, proceed at will.
V: I mean. um.
V: ew?
(Wrongest Conversation Ever; AIM)

Random fanfic writer: I just wanted to have a good time and write some fanfic. I didn't expect a kind of Canon Police.
(JARRING CHORD)
Canon Police: Nobody expects the Canon Police! Our chief weapon is suprise ... surprise and fear ... fear and surprise ... Our two weapons are fear and surprise ... and ruthless efficiency ... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency ... and a fanatical devotion to the facts ... Our four ... no ... Amongst our weapons ... Amongst our weaponry ... are such elements as fear, surprise ... I'll come in again.
(Me; LJ)

Melle: We should send that letter.
Fleur: We totally should, yo. yeates@hotmail.com
Melle: HOTMAIL? For FUCK'S sake, Jamie, get a DECENT Email addy!
Fleur: Oh, what, you think he should be @femgeeks.net ? *g*
Fleur: peaceout@femgeeks.net
Fleur: sean4chris@femgeeks.net
Fleur: theyarenotmyteeth@femgeeks.net
Melle: AHAHAHAH!
Melle: notatroll@femgeeks.net?
Fleur: *dies* Yes! or, oh god, markusflynt@femgeeks.net
Fleur: handmeaplant@femgeeks.net
Melle: AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Melle: monkeyboy@femgeeks.net
Fleur: eatingmyownfleas@femgeeks.net
Melle: nitpicking@femgeeks.net
Fleur: *DIES*
Fleur: wokeupasamonkey@femgeeks.net
Fleur: seanandchrisarenotstraight@femgeeks.net
Melle: Hey, I was about to suggest that one!
Fleur: *high fives you*
Melle: weheardyouthefirsttimedammit@femgeeks.net
Melle: **high five!** Onebrain, yo.
Fleur: andthesecondtimeyouidiots@femgeeks.net
Melle: andallsevenhundredtimesyoubitches@femgeeks.net
Fleur: anditstilldoesntmakeittrueyouboyfriends@femgeeks.net
Melle: And maybe he'd ask for email addies for the others, soo. seany@femgeeks.net
Melle: *too
Fleur: tallerthanseany@femgeeks.net
Melle: badgerboy@femgeeks.net
Melle: outofthecloset@femgeeks.net
Fleur: iloveoliverpercy@femgeeks.net
Fleur: manlyheterosexualbestfriends@femgeeks.net
Fleur: iamstraight@femgeeks.net
Fleur: didimentionimstraight@femgeeks.net
Melle: haveimentionimstraightyet@femgeeks.net
Melle: soverynotgay@femgeeks.net
Melle: straightstraightstraightstraightstraightstraightstraightstraightstraightstraight@femgeeks.net
Fleur: straighterthanareallyreallystraightthing@femgeeks.net
Fleur: jamieisatrollboy@femgeeks.net
Melle: But then Jamie could retaliate: trollsmakelesbiansstraight@femgeeks.net
Fleur: But of course Sean could have:
mymouthmakeslesbiansstraight@femgeeks.net
Fleur: Chris could have: lesbiansstaygayforme@femgeeks.net
Melle: ahahahahahaha
Melle: We are on such crack.
(y!msgr)

Lee: *shakes Marcus* Marcus, Marcus!
Marcus: ..?
Lee: There's a flesh-eating fish in our living room!
Marcus: ... Goes with the decor. Go back to sleep.
(From Elfie's domestic!Marcus/Lee babblings; y!msgr.)

Is it me, or does time pass faster on LJ?
(Me; LJ)

V: *gives Marcus a plant*
V: Woo, haven't done that for a while.
Melle: Marcus: "..." *holds plant*
Melle: AHAHAHA! Oh god. The image of Marcus Flint, just STANDING there all confused, HOLDING A PLANT!
V: HAHAHAHA!
V: Dude, that is SO CUTE
V: *gives him ANOTHER plant just for the hell of it*
Melle: And that just makes it even FUNNIER because now he doesn't even have a FREE HAND!
V: Awwwwwww
V: A nice potted fern! Just for Marcus!
V: And NOW I just typed "Just monkey Marcus"
V: DON'T go anywhere with that image
Melle: <<-- laughing hysterically
Melle: Marcus: *flings poo*
Melle: And I regretted that the second I hit "send"
V: <<-- dying laughing
Melle: monkey!HP!!! Dude, this could be a WHOLE new subgenre!
Melle: Forget girl!stories.
V: HAHAHAHA!
V: Somehow, in the night, Marcus Flint had turned into a monkey.
V: Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle, so had Lee Jordan.
Melle: Oh GOD
Melle: STOP
Melle: I DO NOT WANT TO RUN WITH THAT IMAGE!
V: Bwahahahahahahaa
Melle: *runs with cissors instead*
V: Hahaha!
V: "What the hell?" said Marcus, but it came out more like a high-pitched whine-slash-squeak, and he was suddenly overcome with the urge to eat nits.
V: OKAY THE END
Melle: Not in MY head it isn't the end
Melle: In MY head, they're GROOMING on each other
V: HAHAHAHA
V: STOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP
Melle: And I think I just permanently RUINED this pairing for myself
Melle: I need to post this in LJ just to share the pain.
(AIM)

Moony: (re: above convo) OH my God. Hand over the monkey crack, ladies. [mops up Coke spewed over nits comment]
Melle: Monkeys? What monkeys? There ain't nobody here but us chickens.
Moony: This sounds like the late-night, after-hours adult Care of Magical Creatures class. [shudders]
(LJ comments)

I was going to make a post about how certain idiots I have to deal with because of my job make me weep for the fate of humanity. Except then I stapled my sweater to a stack of papers. Whoops.
(Me; LJ)

*closes eyes* God, I love this song.
*beep* Incoming message from God: Sorry, out smiting. Leave a message and I'll call you back.
(Tri; AIM)

Melle: And it's ALL about MEEEE!
Beth: Oh, you're so right.
Beth: Universe: *revolves around 'Melle*
Beth: And all is as it should be. :)
(AIM)

Can I have an hour off to go heckle Tony Blair?
(My coworker)

Randomly: every time I see Sean Biggerstaff (snigger, snigger) denying he's gay, my brain plays "The lady doth protest too much" in stereo with the kind of male dancers you find at Kylie concerts. Occasionally, The Village People guest star.
(Meg; AIM)

Although, in theory... nobody can stop the religion thing when they leave home, because otherwise there wouldn't be any adult religions.
Uh, religion adults.
Uh, religious adults!
She gets there in the end.
(Nyree; AIM)

Nyree: Tom Felton is really quite frightening.
Nyree: In a way that you'd like to lick.
Melle: YES! YES! EXACTLY!
Melle: Thank you.
Nyree: Okay...
Nyree: What am I being thanked for, here?
Nyree: Offering to attach my mouth-muscle to a minor?
Nyree: 'cause I offer to do that a lot.
Nyree: Um.
Nyree: Oh, forget it.
(AIM)

Although I am to blame for many world crises, you listening to Irish music is not one of them.
(Nyree, to me; AIM)

Melle: Okay, so I just got junk mail at my hotmail addy (grr) saying "Divorce forms for all 50 States" and I read that as "Divorce from all 50 States."
Ruth: <snicker> For those people who really want to leave the country.
(AIM)

Melle: Computer decided to randomly restart.
Melle: Again.
Melle: My monkeys will fling poo at it.
V: Hahaha!
V: Like Jacob's monkey?
Melle: No, not at ALL like Jacob's monkey! I have GOOD monkeys!
Melle: Jacob uses his monkey for EVIL.
Melle: Or, for O-Town.
Melle: Same diff.
(AIM)

Melle: I have to say, if you're going to have a Hollywood star as your messiah ... WHY PICK TOM CRUISE?
V: I have NO idea
V: bwahahaha
Melle: I'm sorry, but you must be This Tall to be my messiah.
(AIM)

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Incoherence World Championship! Defending champion: Harry Potter.
(Me; AIM)

I was trying to RP with Jordan yesterday, and we got, like, two lines in between any Trillian/computer crash. It was like a Three Stooges movie. If the Three Stooges had been HP RPers.
(Me; AIM)

In other news, there is no other news today.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have to say, if you're going to have a Hollywood star as your messiah ... WHY PICK TOM CRUISE?

Maybe it was this chick (http://www.scientology-kills.org/Tom_Cruise/tom_cruise.htm) gone off the deep end again.

Oh, that's hysterical. Why hasn't he SUED her for this? He sues everyone else!

That woman kind of scares me, just a little, in that Matt Hooker (http://www.matthooker.com/) way. He was on TV the other day. I had to change the channel.