bubosquared | (no subject)

Why am I having this converation?

Melle: Man, I was quotable this month. (Also, sacriligeous.)
Tri: *scoots over* There's plenty of room left in the
handbasket, Mellie.
Melle: EVOL!
Tri: Well, duh.
Randomly, have you checked your email yet?
Melle: Yes, and I REFUSE to look at the images DAMMIT!
Eeeeevil bobbleheads ...
Tri: Come on, Melle! You HAVE to look at the
American!Football!Player!Jesus bobblehead! To not do so is the ultimate in
blasphemy and sacrilege!
Melle: American!Football!Player!Jesus may BITE ME!
Tri: You shouldn't tempt the Almighty!Football!Player!Jesus, you
know. He bites HARD.
Er, not that I speak from personal experience or anything. *kaff*
Melle: Hm. Tri/Jesus OTP?
Tri: For some reason my brain wants to turn that into "One True
Philanthropist", which gives me images of Jesus as Millionaire Bruce Wayne,
The Philanthropist, also known as Batman.
Melle: OMG! BATMAN is JESUS! This explains SO MUCH!
(Now I have images of Batman!Jesus, sneaking through the night in cape and
mask as he avenges sins and wrongdoings, raises some dead, turns the
occasional water into wine, ...)
Tri: Raids the bread sections and seafood markets of shops
nationwide?
Melle: Heeheehee! That, too. But he gives it to the poor, so it's
hard to hate him.
Tri: Not for the shopkeepers it isn't. They don't know that Batman
is Jesus, so they hate him for costing them money!
(I am never going to be able to watch a Batman movie without laughing ever
again.)
Melle: But see, would he really raid the supermarkets? Because all
he needs is twelve fish and five loaves of bread and he can feed the entire
city.
Tri: But he's Jesus. Would he really stop at one city? And if he's
not stopping at one city, wouldn't it make more sense for him to get all
the bread and fish at one stop?
Melle: Well, that's a good point. But then surely Jesus would pay
for the bread and fish, in his guise as millionaire Bruce Wayne?
Tri: But he can't if he's going around feeding everyone as Batman.
That would give away his identity.
Melle: I thought he was stealing the stuff as Batman, but
feeding people as Jesus?
Tri: Okay. But even if he's stealing it as Batman, where does Bruce
Wayne come into the picture?
Melle: Hm. Paying for damages caused by Batman?
Tri: Under what guise, though?
Melle: Philantropy? Making up for Batman's Dastardly Deeds?
Tri: Subtly encouraging the conspiracy theorists who claim that he
is Batman?
I can see that. It's evil enough to be amusing, but not truly evil, so
Jesus could do it.
Melle: Well, if you think about it, the connection between Batman
and Jesus is way clearer there. But then who'd think that those two are
actually the same? No one sees it because no one wants toi believe it!
Tri: And I bet he gets a kick out of seeing all those tabloid
headlines reading "BATMAN = SATAN!!!" and " 'BATMAN ATE MY DAUGHTER FOR
BREAKFAST' "
Melle: Of course, all this begs the question: Who is Robin?
Tri: Well, that all depends. Is Robin just Batman's partner, or is
he also his bedmate?
Melle: I dunno, could go either way?
Tri: Hrm, true. Maybe Paul?
Melle: And Mary Magdalen as Catwoman?
Tri: Works for me. But who's Batgirl?
Melle: Hm. Lessee, Peter and Paul can be Robin and Batgirl, Mary
Magdalen is Catwoman, Judas is obviously Two-Face, King Herod can be the
Joker, ...
Tri: What about the Riddler and the Penguin?
Melle: The Riddler would definitely be Pontius Pilate. I an't think
of anyone to cast as the Penguin. (Kaiapas?)
Tri: For some reason, my brain wants to say Salome. o.O
Melle: Entirely different story there, pet. :D
Tri: I know. XD That's why it was weird.
Mark, as the Penguin? Sort of a moonlighting on the side kind of deal?
Melle: Hm. Could be. *ponders*
Also: John the Baptist = obviously Albert the butler!
Tri: Well if Jesus can dress as Batman and steal from grocery shops,
Mark could be the Penguin. XD It's only fair.
Alfred. But yeah, I can see that.
Melle: Fair enough.
Hm, and now I'm wondering who Satan is in all this ...
Tri: Maybe Satan could be the Penguin instead of Mark?
No, no, he's Mr. Freeze! (Ironic, ain't it?)
Melle: But Satan did that whole temptation in the desert thing, and
I can't see the Penguin pulling that off.
Ooooh, Satan=Poison Ivy!
Tri: I figured Mr Freeze, but Poison Ivy works too.
Melle: I think the seduction thing is more Poison Ivy, really. And
also, if Joker = King Herod, who's Harley Quinn?
Tri: Moses? I've no idea.
Melle: Yeah, I think we've sort of exhausted the joke, now.
Tri: Ah, well. It was fun while it lasted.
Melle: And it lasted way longer than it should've. :D (Going to
HELL!)
Tri: Maybe, during the trip down, we'll have time enough to figure
out who'd play Mr Freeze. XD
Melle: ... and how to get him to play our personal airco system?
Tri: Naturally. I mean, what else has he got to do?

That'd be more useful if my journal weren't friends only. XD

XD Editing it now. I'll email it and you can post it in your LJ; how's that?

Yay!

... Wait, that means you're quoting that whole thing, aren't you?

If I were to quote it, it would merit its own post. That's how big it is. XD

Yeah, I hadn't realised exactly how far we'd run with that joke. *facepalm*

I suppose this is what happens when you and I get bored while chatting. *attempts to giggle*