bubosquared | I don't get people

Really, I don't. I mean, I know I'm a bitch. I like that. I like being able to speak my mind bluntly. I like it that after over 20 years on this blue earth, I've finally realised not only intellectually but also emotionally that sometimes I need to say what's on my chest, or it'll fester and eat me up inside until it grows far beyond the original issue. Better to get it out while it's still small. So far, it hasn't cost me any friends I hadn't already lost.

I know I can sound mean and insensitive at times. Shit, I know I can be mean and insensitive at times. I know that I can hold a grudge for ages. I can be, and am, very bitter.

But I like to think that I would never take a situation [like two people I'm angry at fighting] and twist them so that it suddenly appears to be all about me. [Yes, I'm looking at you -- did I mention I'm prone to bitterness?] I like to think I don't presume to tell someone else what they feel or felt. I like to think I can forgive pretty much anyone anything, so long as they're realising what they did and apologise for it. I like to think I would never ever judge a person based on who they choose to associate with, or because they're not as upfront about their values and opinions as I am.

I like to think I'm a fair person.

And when people do thinks like the ones I described above, it makes me so very angry, so furious, so fucking sad that my hands are shaking. Because while I can understand anger, hurt, bitterness, even meanness, I cannot for the life of me understand pettiness and egocentrism. And like most people, I get greatly upset about things I don't understand.