bubosquared | (no subject)

First of all, some quotes:

Schuyler:If I am searching for info on ABBA, Amazon would like to offer me the following things: ABBA-Gold by ABBA, Super Trouper by ABBA, Thank You for the Music by ABBA, Voulez-Vous by ABBA, Abba Pater by Pope John Paul II, or The Visitors by ABBA.
One of these things is not like the others.

Rakshi: ALL HAIL DOM! WHO LIT THE PILOT LIGHT OF ELIJAH'S MOJO!! ALL HAIL THE PROPHET ELIJAH. BRINGER OF TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE ONE TRUE LURVE!
Excuse me.. I feel a sudden urge to sacrifice a goat.
C'mere goat! GET BACK HERE! You're being sacrificed to the prophet Elijah! You should be GLAD to go!

Elfie: (re: a customer's accusations that she was "trying to pull one over me") I'll pull something over you, yeah. Howsabout a GIANT CONDOM TO PROTECT SOCIETY FROM YOU?

Melle: Hey, R. [coworker], do you want anything from [stationary supplies place]?
R.: A brain.
Melle: ...
R.: Second hand will do. The dumber the better, you don't need much for this job.
Melle: ... I'm working with a bunch of zombies!
R.: That's actually much truer than you might think.

Melle: (later, to other coworkers) So according to the zombies in the other room ...

Melle: *blinkblink* I like cheese
Rod of Squirrel Nim: Ah, but so does Destiny itself.
Melle: So could I bribe Destiny with Cheese?
Rod of Squirrel Nim: Seek not to turn aside the hand of feta.

Ruth: Also, apologies to anyone thrown off by the year 2009 appearing on previous messages. My motherboard is having some issues. I've tried suggesting it find a good therapist, but it just won't listen.

Meg: Anyways, I need to go sit and read the Tempest; my English midterm on Thursday is comprised entirely of remembering authors' names and work titles, and being able to match them to quotes. [Note: I don't think I'm allowed to call William Shakespeare "Billy S." Which is a shame, really.]

Amy: Damnit! I hate it when my friends turn into Elder Gods!

Melle: (referring to a team building day with co-workers) Gotta love any situation in which the phrase "Waiter! Can we have a fork, please? Oh, and a dog!" is not a non-sequitur.

Ang: So I'm reading what I can find on Library of Moria, and I think some people need to be severely educated about one particular thing: HOBBITS ARE NOT CREAMY.
I mean, sure, a slightly toasted halfling is a tasty trate for any troll, but I've never heard them described as "creamy." "Good with ketchup," perhaps.

Also, a meme that's gone round LJ a few times: Ask my characters anything! Any character from any of my stories any question, and they'll answer.